homelessness sucks! Entry 018: I, Stand Alone (yes that is a Godsmack reference)
Anyway, without further ado, the flux line cross date is not a specific D/M/Y/H/M/S point, but is specific to when these tend to occur most often, and that is where I'll start. Early-Mid Spring, 2022; specifically April Yeah; I'll never forget how weird I felt about the sudden shift in basically everything. It's likely an after effect of Coriolis, but it still weirds me out even now. There was a cold blast that lasted for a while, then it shifted to heavy rain, and severe storms, almost instantly. At the time, I lived in Haysville, which is south of Wichita, and southwest of Andover. Yeah; if you're aware of the atmospheric events of that particular Spring, you'll know that I'm talking about this. Fact is, the storm that produced it developed right overhead in Haysville. Eerie as fuck, knowing that it could of developed just a stone's throw south by southwest and it would of been a Haysville tornado. This event was the culmination of the shift in question, because everyone around suddenly changed in ways that most wouldn't notice, but I did. I knew by that summer, that something really bad was incoming, but I wasn't prepared because I had no way to be. August, 2022; Landlord's illicit and illegal Greed and Avarice It was close to time to renew the lease, so we got documents that stated such. Okay, fine, just some signatures, done, blah, blah, blah. Then, a couple days later, we got another batch of documents of similar nature. I almost tossed them thinking they had sent an extra copy, but I opened the envelope just to be sure it wasn't something else first. Inside was the worst thing that could happen to a severely disabled and crippled living unit, a notice of lease termination. Yep, we could of fought it, but they knew that we hadn't the resources to, and we're not their first victims either. Simple fact is, we had to find a place to move to, and get help with the process. Okay, easy enough, right? WRONG. The one who was the worst crippled went into a major health crisis, and that basically destroyed any progress towards anything. It wouldn't be until October before we had a place to temporarily move our belongings to, and even then, there was too much that we couldn't move on our own, so, the lease days expired before we could be completely done, and the only reason I wasn't served for vagrancy, was because the landlord showed a tiny bit of mercy, just enough to allow us a few more days to get everything, but, even then, it was not all good; it was close to the end of October that I walked to the overpass bridge and was going to jump from it. In short, it's fenced off, and I hadn't the strength to climb the fence. To this moment, I still think about it. I still wonder if I should of jumped. It doesn't matter now, so much, but still. November 5, 2022; Facing Death Head-on Basically, at that point, I knew that any error could lead to my demise. But, for a short time, I still had someone I could sort of depend on. I still had access to a means of transportation, so maybe it wasn't all for naught, or so I had set in mind. I later realized that things were worse than ever, as the one who controlled my finances was down and out, soon to be gone completely, and Social Security did nothing about it. Yup, things were that bad. I had savings, but I really did not want to use them. So, when the path to housing got washed out by red tape, I took the option of attempting to gain resources through a feigned mental health crisis. It worked, except, I wasn't housed, I was placed in a shelter, or more rather, that's where I ended up, and worse, it was in a place I knew nothing about, so any time I went anywhere, if I didn't know where I was going, I had help. I was fortunate to not have to go anywhere if I didn't need to, but still, from December through mid-March, I eked out a sorrowful existence, and I was constantly facing fatal peril, including two different occurrences of stage 1 hypothermia. Winter was bad, and Yule was absolutely awful. I also learned that because the one who controlled my finances had passed on, my disability funding was suspended, and yeah, that's bad. VERY. My savings would be gone in a matter of weeks. With March would also come the point in which I would be left alone; my travelling companion and helpful resource would leave for Colorado, taking Charlie with him. Ah, yeah; Charlie is a pretty orange tabby, who was named 'Angus' originally. What kind of a name is 'Angus', for a cat!?? (paraphrasing Mr. Ed here but yeah) April, 2023; Start of an Upturn...? I finally managed to get EBT. Means I didn't have to scrounge for food like a wild animal, as long as I didn't spend it needlessly. But my problems were still massive, and one of them would be the storage unit, that hadn't been paid since February, and that would be in fact, a massive burden on me as time went on. I still was without funding, unless I got lucky with finding bits here and there, and my savings was gone long by this point, so I still had struggles many. One of the worst struggles was being relegated to a shelter for the masculine, and worse, one with strong religious affiliations. It was awful. I soon would manage to get a phone, but then it would end up stolen, because that's the type of place I was at. Staying there, was like living in a damn zoo. I managed to not get booted and also had managed to pass the colder days off before having to leave, because it was one of those 30-day places. Yeah, I managed to get extensions, but... End May, Begin June, 2023; Completely losing it I was out on the streets, and by this point I had learned enough to figure out how to get around, and keep occupied in relative comfort. But, the resources that allow this, were limited; the bus has a limited schedule on Saturdays, and doesn't run at all on Sundays or specific holidays. It was on a Sunday, that I had taken on too much stress, too much sun exposure, and that set me off. I was barely able to control myself enough to go to the crisis center for aid, and that was when... June, 2023; Enter: Shelter Plus Care (housing voucher) I ended up at this psychiactric facility called Prairie View, in a small town north of Wichita, called Newton. Initially, I didn't wish to stay, but I did end up staying after realizing that it would be better suited for medication stabilization, and of course, I was decently supported there as well. I was there for about eleven days. Thing is, after discharging, if it hadn't been for some ridiculous luck, I'd of been back in the exact same problematic situation, but... Mid June, 2023; Salvation Army, a shelter designed around feeling more like a home (RIP) On the same day I was discharged, I managed to get to the SA Emergency Lodge, in time for intake. After that, I was finally in a place where I could relax, and best part was/is, that I didn't have to take all my belongings with me whenever I left for whatever reason. I could finally focus more on things that mattered, like the storage unit. Yup, part of my mission was keeping in consistent contact and making sure that they knew that I'm doing my best to get them paid. Of course, this was contingent on them keeping my belongings in place, because if they hadn't, I wouldn't of paid them. I also filled out and sent in documents for various things, and I eventually would get another phone (it's shite but whatever), but for the first time in too long, I felt somewhat better, more stable. But then... July, 2023; Emergency Lodge has no monies; closing down and what comes of that Yup, I wasn't there for very long before hearing about this. Like, seriously, why. Well, it's all politics and nothing more. Politicians fucking with people's lives like a cursed game of Chess. I also learned of someone, or someones, cutting off the locks to my storage unit and breaking in. As far as I can tell, my TV is gone, and all three of my suitcases as well as both my larger PC towers (including my main project PC where a lot og my creative stuffs are stored) being missing. They could be gone too for all I know, and if that is the case, then, I might not be able to continue work on my main game dev project, unless someone has downloaded the bugtest project I had uploaded to MEGA as a semi-backup. Anyway, the Emergency Lodge was to shut down the eleventh of August, and it meant that I soon would find myself in a bad situation, even worse than when I had went off the rails. Summer was, and still is...sweet fucking mercy...the heat is unbearable to even reminisce on. By this time I had managed to get a payee, but even then, it would be way too long before I'd get my funding restored. August, 2023; Shelter Plus Care approved, found housing, but more waiting Indeed, once I got into the SPC program, finding housing was quick and almost effortless, but the one place I did manage to get wouldn't be ready for some time. At this point, Social Security had managed to cough up some of what they owe me, and it helped significantly. My storage finally got paid off, and is now easier on my mind. I had spare money again, but it didn't last. I tried but, it just wasn't happening. Staying in a motel was the ideal option but a fruitless endeavor, so... August 11; back to that derelict place up north Yeah, the 'zoo', of sorts, but even then, the place had changed, because they were tightening their 'standards' (by limiting their capacity and getting rid of vital necessities like a medical team-typical of politics). It wasn't much better, and the quality of the food was way worse, but with fewer people, meant that it was easier to manage. I knew that I'd eventually be housed, so I afforded out some patience. September 1; Moving in, casting out some worry and anxiety Not much more to say; I am sleeping on the floor and until recently, also did all my computing stuffs on the floor (much pain!!). My EBT benefits were lowered too much, so I don't have a fridge full of food, and I still need many things that my $31 will absolutely not procure. But, that said, despite every single last perilous thing that has come my way, I fought imminent fatal peril, and I won. For now. Forward Plans? If I'm able to, I'm most certainly getting back into game dev, with Ramsey at the forefront. Of course, she'll be around regardless; after all, I couldn't just let her fade away. Beyond that, I dunno; maybe gather those I've befriended for some kind of bash or something.
There's some things I didn't talk about. This is likely going to have a second part, so, don't fret.
