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Mostly whatever comes to mind

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I really just want to get a few things off my chest, however, I don't really expect anyone to care, but to those who give pause, and don't troll, thank you in advance.


So, first off, I figured I'd mention that though I was truly born in the Spring, by the 'legal' piece of paper I'm damned by, I've been imprisoned on this planet for 32 years, as of 12:57 this morning. Yeah, yeah, yeah, on my details I have it set as a date far more recent; I won't lie, the facts are that I have almost completely separated myself from my 'legal bs' identity, however, there are some things that I cannot do as of yet, given the risk of perjury. But make no mistake, there is no one that can tell me who I am without being biased; only I know me, and I shame those who would say otherwise.


Next, no, I want no birthday wishes. I kept this to a blog post for that reason. I have nothing to celebrate; I'm NOT going to go get drunk or go party or whatever, I'm not that kind of girl and to many, I'm just a mentally ill man who wishes he were a woman. My middle fingers to every single one of them and I hope they all get what they deserve, nothing good I assure you.


I'm also sick of this 'fantasy land' nonsense. I know some mean it as a joke, and I often laugh with you on that; it is when it is taken into serious consideration that I'm 'off my rocker' for having memories far more clear of my homeland than of the pain and suffering I've been through here AGAINST MY WILL, that I am absolutely offended, and how dare you.


As much as I wish to sunder this mortal flesh, it would be better to reverse the evil deus ex machina's whole plot, so that the mortal flesh may actually have a mortal soul as an occupant instead of being a torture chamber cell for a non-mortal who was obviously a threat someone's evil plot as far as I can tell. Reversing said plot would be a lot easier if I knew where to start looking for any information that may lead to how it was done, but even searching for a local Pagan group online has net nothing, though I blame Google and Ajit Piefacefart for part of that.


As far as gamedev goes, I'm still running into Syntax snags, but I'm working on it, mostly alone this time. Nothing further to post so no updates as of yet (they'll be in my Game Cabinet blog if I decide to actually post anymore updates at all).


Honest, hand to Odinn confession: I've never felt so homesick than I do now. I don't know what to do, other than let time pass me by at this point, while doing my best to remain occupied...


You see, most of what I say online, if I dare talk about it offline...just causes issues. There's an empty seat at the table, an empty lab station at the academy, an empty bed at my house...all because I am imprisoned here...and I am so sick of being treated like I know nothing. It boils my blood, insults my intellect, and is like a knife in the back being twisted day in and out. Gross.


There, I've gotten that off my chest. Back to...something. Likely Discord.


Yeah, I could write out a long post, but I won't.


What happened before will never happen again.


I'll make sure to archive everything I say from here onward.


Meant to do that for the lighthearted post but ultimately didn't think it was necessary. I was wrong for thinking so.

It won't happen again because I won't let it. All my blog posts from here onward I will archive, and if such an issue arises, it will be mitigated and invalidated.


May the Divine Twenty-Four guide the benevolent to their light...


With each passing day, I find the following to be more and more apparent...


There's this thing going on within the higher levels of societal classes, mainly the wealthy, and governing classes that disturbs the living sh*t out of me, and that is this massive censorship model that very few seem to even know about, let alone speak/act against.


Of course, I am talking about online and offline censorship, the former examples being Google, Facebook, Twitter and such, but also on the latter, with the police being allowed to use unnecessary force against people whom have done nothing wrong, against those who are exercising their rights, and the government and corporations fueling these things with their own manpower and most importantly, their own damned, blood-covered silver. (There are numerous other examples but police are really high on the list and frequency of occurrence is impossible to ignore)


It saddens, angers, and enrages me to see this happen, not only to people who don't have a clue, but to people that speak/act against it.


I personally am not fond of certain freedoms because of how badly they are abused, but f*ck all if they are to be taken away by the very same mortals, MORTALS who swore an oath to PROTECT the very same rights.


Of course, there are some parts of the world where such natural rights are either restricted or even completely obliterated by blasphemous religious regimes and/or avaricious and greedy governmental factions, in which, my only wish is for those who suffer undeservingly to either have their pain ended swiftly and mercifully, or for their oppressors to be brought to their overdue end.




Roughly translated to English from my native tongue, it means 'made to speak falsely' which is synonymous with 'censorship'.


One quick tidbit about Parolian context... -ssha/-sshi/-sshu/-sshe/-ssho/-ssya are secondary prefixes which are indicative of negative context accenture (meaning that the phrase will always sound like the person is speaking vilely of the context). In other words, censorship is seen as a bad thing in my native tongue (and logically so).


Anyway, moving on to the next thing and that is how the greedy, avaricious model of censorship has filtered down into various areas of general society, such as public places, online forums, among others. There's a system in place that does allow at the discretion of the higher ups of any given public place, forum and so on to censor the lesser masses, regardless of whether those involved in the censorship process are right or wrong. Of course, that is really no fault of the higher-ups, though allowing oneself to feel right in censoring another regardless of whether the act was right or wrong is a massive character flaw, and that is something I have seen and been a victim of, time and again.


That said, more often than not, this is something most don't even realize that they're doing, and the reasons why list potentially in the hundreds if not thousands, and since I'm no thorough expert on the inner workings of the mortal mind (though I'm an expert at predicting actions but that just takes practice and an unchanging redundancy), I won't really get into that since that is a bit beyond the scope of this blog (not to mention there are many things I do not know well enough about to bring my thoughts into the matter forward).


For those that are guilty of this, but are unaware, I do hope that one day, you do catch it, and reflect on the potential negative influx you're creating, so that one can be more balanced in making decisions that affect others.


For those that are the opposite of the unaware, the ones that do this for the sick pleasure of it (fortunately I've only run into a small handful like this in recent times and never more than that), if you ever run into me, no matter where or when, I won't let you off easy. You're in for a painful reality check.


Now, you might be wondering why I wrote this blog post at all, especially here of all places.


Well, for one, it is good to let people know what is going on, no matter where the information is placed, as long as the balance is as close to equal as possible (I don't think I need to explain this further-hopefully). Two, there are some issues with language barrier censorship that I've come across rather frequently as of recent (and no, not just here but the little blurb about not 'liking the rules of the forum' was the final straw; either I get this off my chest or something bad would happen-likely offline because this is the kind of thing that does tend to set off my stress and unfairly at that), and I used to actually be guilty of this sort of thing myself. Of course, when one doesn't understand what the other is saying, naturally, that frustration will occur, but saying 'speak English pls' is a really bad way of going about it, not to mention quite disrespectful. It is better to ask for someone to translate, or for that person to try to speak more clearly, rather than throw up a false language barrier.


I get it, this is an English-speaking forum, no further commentary on the subject needed, but how many of us have English as a first language, or even a second language? Hell, how many of us rely on the rather unreliable Google Translate for English translations? I can almost guarantee that quite a few of us rely on some form of a less-than-reliable translator just simply because of that restriction. I mean, yeah, sure, the restriction does make some sense, but to have it shoved in our faces, it is just not okay and sets a bad example.


I mean, this is not an 18+ site, there are people here that are potentially impressionable; let us not set that example for them to follow, or even let that even be a possible mindset.


Of course, let us also let them think for themselves, which also means that the censorship model is even worse to have, in the case of free thinking and expression.


Not saying that we should abandon having certain restrictions, but for those of us who do not speak English (or for a Spanish forum, do not speak Spanish or -insert language here), don't admonish us just because we don't know the language. That is all we ask. And if we're feeling good and we say/sing/shout something in our native tongues, don't kill the vibe by saying 'speak English pls'. We wouldn't do that to you (or at least I would like to think we wouldn't but I cannot truly speak for everyone).


As a race of beings designed to coexist, we're currently doing one Hell of a job dividing ourselves, and one of the ways we're accomplishing this is through the current censorship model, whether on purpose or not. Let us unite and end this. Together, we can end the throes of censorship, greed and avarice.



I find myself in this putrid limelight often, being shamed for just being myself, for speaking the truth, for just...being...honest...and I tell ya, I'M DAMN SICK OF IT.


It happens to me everywhere, so I'm slowly dropping out of the limelight's reach on more and more social platforms. I already gave up on more than half of them, for this among other reasons, which includes Facebook, Deviant Art, Twitter, Instagram, Photobucket, and soon to follow will be Twitch, Discord, and all other forum-based platforms, if this is to continue, because I cannot justify conformity in any sense. It is thoroughly immoral, and furthermore, both damaging and senseless.


Also, conformity != civility. If anything, the two are complete opposites (and they are).


And before anyone starts a tirade on this, for whatever reason...


I am not like most; I present the facts in a way that is not often seen as much more than 'crazy talk'; to the commoner, I am just 'crazy', but that's their ignorance and their privilege showing. If anything, my level of intellect on a lot of things should be granting me 'pedestal status', or at the very least, some level of glowing praise, but not in this day and age, where superior intellect == mental illness and/or instability. Am I too intelligent for my own good? Probably, but there's nothing I can do about it, short of getting a lobotomy.


If you feel the need to not read any further, then please, by all means, don't. But I also do not want a two-bit opinion if you're not to read the full post. That's trolling, another sickening thing about the twenty-first century humanity, which is anything but human.


Back to intellect. "Okay, if you're so smart, why can't you fix this, or that? Or the world?"


There's one way to fix the world...you won't like it either.


Someone once illustrated the solution to the world's problems, and though there were no humans in it, there were four guillotines, seven nooses, and a bloodied heavy axe hung on a stone wall. There was a caption that said 'for those who feel the world is needing of change, but have no contributions to give, feel free to offer your life so that others may thrive'.


Obviously, no one who believes they are in control of their own lives would go for it, but in all due honesty, I could probably list a few thousand people by name who definitely would qualify as needing this type of voluntary execution (I won't mention any names), myself included.


"Wait, why would you include yourself??"


Because, as smart as I am, I lack the capability at the practical level to create the change. I'd be a liability, just another impractical asset whose intellect would likely not find much use, and therefore, would not be vital. That's all. The fact that it would be the end of my imprisonment here is irrelevant.


"You're so dramatic, so negative..."


Yeah, I know. I've explained this already, so I won't go there again, it stresses me out even further.


I'll tell you this. I'd rather write (or in this case type) out my frustrations, than have my frustrations be channeled through my fists into an inanimate object, like a wall, window, or at the worst, to grab a knife and show my extreme duress by positioning it into the seppuku preparation stage.


"You need professional help."


I HAD that before I moved from Colorado. I had a great team of doctors aiding me, and I was slowly recovering, but now I don't even have insurance, and likely don't even qualify, thanks to Donald JACKASS Trump and his BS TrumpCare.


"Why did you move from Colorado??"


Because, on my FIXED and VERY LIMITED income, I could no longer afford to live there. The cost of living keeps increasing, but the bottom line never follows. Soon, only the wealthy will survive...my middle finger (both of them) to that.


"Is there anything that I (or we) can do, to help?"


I always accept donations (not that I get any or have ever gotten any), so there is that. Otherwise, over the internet, there is little that can be done, or even asked of.




One thing about all this, is that if I were to ever make it out, and to become a great success, I would never forget about the struggles, and most certainly would never forget about those who also suffer, which is why PHANTOM Enterprises will always be a non-profit company, and that my band, Karma Bitches, will never have copyrights on our music.


Pie in the Sky dreams, I know...


Before I start, I just want everyone to know that this is a great community, and is in no part to blame for my demotivation, but there are some members whom have not made it the easiest to handle things, especially when I talk about things from my own perspective which I came to the realization long ago that only I can grasp.


Backing off of that to what I actually came to talk about.


I don't know about everyone here, but as much as I don't believe in the religious nonsense going around (and that is something I will not explain in any further detail-at least not here), there is something that appears to make some sort of sense. You might of read that one of the blog tags is 9/23. What does it mean?


Well, it could mean 9 of 23 parts, but no, that wouldn't have any correlation with this. It correlates with September 23. Without going into a great amount of detail, there's some sort of prophecy going around that involves a star that is only visible once every so often (it is said to be every two-thousand years but there is absolutely no way to be definitively certain), as well as this astrological phenomenon about the orbit of Jupiter. The astrological part makes sense, because the said star that appears now is one that is eventually going to die, likely as a supernova, which this planet may see in roughly a hundred thousand years or so (if all other cosmic entities remain the same until then). Also, Jupiter's orbit is going to move in that certain way around that time, and this (visibly) happens once every few hundred years, give or take a few.


Here's the skivvy on this. This whole biblical prophecy, if it were to have played to the letter, it would of occurred already. Or, another thought on the matter is that it won't truly occur as it would have been stated, but as events that humankind had incited. Fact is, a lot of the crap that is going down now, the way that true human evil has begun corrupting everyone, is a testament to the latter, and is also how events would play out, as written in Shinryu's Grimoire, not a mortal-written manifest of stories that sounds much more like a glorified horror story than anything.


However, if there is one thing that the Bible and Shinryu's Grimoire agree with, on a major point, it would be the astrological events.


Okay, you might be reading this and thinking 'Oh great, another bitch that wants us to repent to her gods' or some other nonsense. Believe what you will, but it isn't the case. Actually, repentance, asking for forgiveness, and such because this one deity who has more names than I can count on both hands gave his son who also shares the same names to die on a wooden crucifix, so as to bear mortalkind's sins...(and on and on)...is ludicrous. Fact is, to say ones' misdeeds against their fellow mortals are so easily forgiven by the sacrifice of a non-mortal is as much of a misdeed as any. It would be a waste of aetherial energy, a waste of life, and really, a waste, period. But enough about that, I needn't explain this further.


If one can forgive oneself for their own misdeeds, that is more than enough. If one can look in the mirror and say that they can move forward despite their wrongdoings and not second guess themselves, that is enlightenment. If one can spare a moment to assist one other, no matter for what cause, that is goodwill. There is where you find your 'forgiveness'.


I can sense you wanting to know about calamities, disasters and such. The Bible is very specific about what is to come, and if one thinks about it, these things to a certain scope are already occurring, though in all due honesty, not in the order given. The weather patterns globally are changing on a rather drastic scale, and in connection, people in power are choosing to ignore those in need. Sorry, this is out of the scope of the Bible, but once again, is dead on with Shinryu's Grimoire instead.


Raging seas, Torrential winds, Surging storms, Trembling terrain, Ankhura, Totria, Deuta, Aeria, the first four deities to invoke their wrath. Of course, this here has been going on for a good long time as is, and has only been gradually increasing in severity, to where it is now. Again, this is all from Shinryu's Grimoire.


'Okay, so what about visions?'


I have problems sleeping, for a long list of reasons (another time I may delve into that), but one of them is the visions that I have. In truth, these are infrequent and often are incredibly difficult to make any sense of, unless if the event I see in the vision is something I see whilst conscious. I've been having visions more frequently, and have had three in the past week alone, and the last twelve have been the same vision, if only viewed from different perspectives, but they all correlate with one thing, a specific date, which as of this blog entry, is three weeks from now.


All these visions, they view the ocean, from the eyes of various folk, the skies are overcast, the winds are powerful, there's lightning and rain falling, and at some point, I see various things like internal housing structures, televisions being on (can't see what is on screen), and so on, but before these visions fade into a dream, I see a calendar or something similar, all with that specific date.


It doesn't help that this often awakens me and hinders my sleep, which is causing me to feel less and less motivated to do much of anything.


'Impending disaster? End of days??'


This is one thing where the Bible and Shinryu's Grimoire differ entirely. There are many names for them given by mortalkind, but the twenty-four deities that govern the various aspects of existence do interfere when mortalkind gets 'out of hand', but how they interfere is not set in stone, and for each time they have interfered, their method has been different, never the same. But to eliminate all mortals, that is not something they do, nor do they force suffering if there can be a simpler solution.


I could explain all this in much greater detail, however, I have not read Shinryu's Grimoire in its' entirety, and to do so would take an incredibly long time, so I do not know how the divine twenty-four would handle a race of warmongers like this one, but I am almost certain that their interference will almost certainly go unnoticed except by the very few that actually know what their handiwork would look like.


It isn't like my Auntie Khali is going to burn down whole civilized regions with her flames, since the humans of Earth are more than capable of doing that themselves.


One sign that I'll be looking for, is one that only a few would notice. The stars in the sky will no longer represent the constellations everyone knows. Because Earth will no longer be a part of the Milky Way galaxy. Thing is, it won't be that easily noticeable, not until long after the changes were made.


What does that mean? By making this cosmic change, the cosmic calendar will have been interrupted, and so, all related scientific development will have been nullified.


Of course, this is one possible change, of many.


If they do have any direct interference, whereas it is conceded that a confrontation is necessary, it won't be pretty. 


Will this all happen on the twenty-third? I cannot say, but cataclysmic change is on the horizon. As much as I'd love to say that a direct confrontation will occur, that is wishful thinking on my end because it means that all twenty-four deities will come, including my own mother...


I'd hate to have her see me as I am now, but...


Yeah, it likely won't happen, unless this mortal race as a whole becomes a large enough threat to existence, and far more than just its' own existence.


Even having all the potential threats to this mortal race's existence eliminated in a single night is unlikely, though would be welcomed on my end.


There a few very likely things to come to pass, one of those actually being something that has been reported to be overdue for an occurrence, which is Old Faithful's eruption. Another is that they let us kill one another with nuclear weapons, and then interfere to alleviate the aftermath. The possibility that the solar system will be moved seamlessly from one place to another is also likely. As for the disasters written in the Bible, anything that has to do with cosmic events can happen at anytime, but all else is not as much likely, and as far as Babylon goes, which one? Take your pick, there's at least a million of them.


Yes, I'm aware of the ID microchips starting their run, this whole 'mark of the beast' thing. In Shinryu's Grimoire, a similar thing occurs with similar functionality in one era, and it is coined as the 'Mark of Death'. It is basically the same thing, but unlike the Bible, it is mentioned four times and is largely unrelated to much of anything else, whereas this 'Mark of the Beast' is glorified as fuck in the Bible, though it doesn't really mean a whole lot in the big picture (but I sure as fuck don't want the damn thing).


'What about famine, disease, the rapture?'


Two of the three, humans cause enough of as is. As far as the rapture goes, one of the twenty-four deities is the governing force of Rapture, though that has much less to do with allocating the truly innocent and having them wait out the apocalyptic advent than it does with the realization that one has done wrong.


So, who would be responsible for the allocation of the truly innocent? That would be the Harborer of Innocence, though that would not be done with a raging storm, but more rather through an event where visibility was reduced to absolutely nothing for a split second. That kind of thing has only happened once, and would be unlikely to happen here.


'Red rivers?'


Undrinkable water? Yeah, that's all the water on Planet Earth now, even if it isn't the hue of blood (SLAYER made a killing off that idea when they put it to song), so that's been a thing for...at least five hundred years (though it has only gotten much worse in the past twenty or so).


'So, what does any of this have to do with world events, your life, and so on?'


Well, I did a long-winded explanation of world events already, and I'm not doing it again. As far as my life goes, if suddenly, I am no longer active here, and these odd things that mortalkind doesn't expect are going on, there is a good chance that I've gone home, where I won't have internet, or even half of the modern technology I had here, but it is where I belong, dammit. I am only a prisoner here, and I never belonged here in the first place.


But that is for another chapter.


Amyrakunejo, Princess of Purity, taking off to the skies.


Despite the title sounding a bit ruffian, I've really gotten sick of all the crap on TV, on the internet, what idiots in power and/or wealth are doing, and so on; it's giving me a damn headache, causing me sleep cycle issues, and overall, killing my creative drive.


I want them all, to shut, the *******************, UP. I don't wanna hear it anymore. All I wanna hear, is the clicking of my keyboard, mouse, and controller, the AVGN when he gets pissed off, SidAlpha's game/munchies reviews, the great content made by LGR, 8-Bit Guy/Keys, among others in that category, and the music I love, dammit!


But oh no, can't have that, no, if everything goes right, it's the end of the world!


So, the game continues to cheat, Ruby continues to throw invalid errors, my own computer continues to lag, the fake news and fake online media continue blabbing their bullshit, and I'm really starting to get edgy. I don't really drink, but I'm definitely tempted. I don't cut, but the temptation is there (though to be truthful I'd rather just sever the arteries of my abdominal organs than anything else). I'm very angry, and I've really been thrown under the bus as far as getting much needed aid is concerned, so maybe a public demonstration of their folly is in due order.


In other news, the Clone Hero project is coming along great, with Alpha v.13 just released today. It's looking pretty good now, with Practice Mode being a thing, as well as new art.



I honestly wish I could play this on Expert, but it is just way too hard for me...


As one can see, I'm a very fragile individual, capable of going to pieces at the slightest provocation.


There really is no cure or treatment for this short of immaculate and constant love and affection, which is a harem-based fairytale that is unrealistic, so I'll likely never heal, but I'll be damned if Joe Jackass Motherfucking Cuntwipe Hackershithead gets to win because he was able to screw myself and someone else through their mischief.


This debacle has scarred me, and since there is no chance of healing it...


This broken doll is going away.


This won't be a long, drawn out entry.


It seems that my IP address is no longer banned on RMW or RMN (but from what I was able to gather it never was on RMW).


I did create a new account on RMW some time back, though I had to use a proxy to get in. Well, it has been since May 10, and I can't even make a fucking introductory post (oh yes, familiar and brutally UNFAIR TERRITORY HERE).


So, I'm asking for someone from here to go speak with a fair admin over on RMW, please, for heaven's sake.


Of course, I don't know of anyone here that has an account on RMW, well, except one unless she moved from there to here, that being Amysaurus.


But seriously, please, help me. I'd try to contact one of the admins myself, but I do not like the idea of pleading an IP Hack case to people that are potentially partial.


I only ask, because I'd do the same for anyone else. Thank you in advance.


Oh, my account name? We'll discuss it not in public if you decide to assist me.


One more thing. It may help if the person who does assist me is both an admin here and on RMW.


I had an account on RPG Maker Web a couple years back, and I had gone away for a couple weeks. Well, someone decided to hack my account, and not just that one, but several, but the point is, is that when my RMW account was hacked, whomever did it decided to sabotage my account and the staff fell for it. Guess what happened?


I got banned. Oh yeah, my IP got banned. No, emailing the administrators doesn't work, like ever, because I tried for a week, and got no fucking response. At the time, I lived elsewhere, and after the move, I thought about starting up another, only to find that someone had not only hacked my IP, but also, my computer, and had used someone else's account through my computer to do some really lewd things...


Now my IP has been banned on both RMW and RMN.


This all coincides with core Windows drivers failing, at least for the second time I got hacked. So I'm wondering if the hack actually caused this problem.


Of course, I did a re-install of Windows using the disc (the anytime upgrade option so as to not lose all my files), and the drivers were restored, as was the firewall.


But I beg to ask, why me? Why this person, whomever they might of been. Just, why?


Well...other than that and life being unrealistically unfair, nothing more to say...


Other than...


Top40 music is not music, and anyone who says otherwise has no taste at all.


Amyrakunejo, signing off...


For most of the afternoon and evening where I live has been under severe weather watches and/or warnings in one form or another. Mostly, severe thunderstorm warnings and watches, but tornado watches and a few warnings as well.


Where I live, the weather has just started turning towards the nastier side, otherwise just overcast and cool.


We had a severe thunderstorm warning briefly not too long ago, said related storm raced through the area like a Ferrari on the Audobahn and was here and gone in five minutes tops.


But in other areas, heavy rain, strong winds, straight line winds, large hail and rotation with and without associated wall clouds were a huge part of a two-hundred mile length thunderstorm chain. That chain was never near my area though...


There were some reports of tornadoes, funnel clouds and the like, but any damage reports were related to the strong winds, one report which was actually shown on live coverage was of an old tree completely uprooted from the ground, a sad sight indeed. :(


Right now, there's some thunder rumbling, birds chirping, perhaps some light drizzle, but nothing severe at the moment.


Yeah, the location I have on my profile is where I am from, not where I live currently.


That's right, I live in Tornado Alley, and though I didn't want to move here...that's for another story, another time.


Amyrakunejo, signing off...

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