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(Critique needed) First bits of the game play's intro

KaisoAri

Entry posted by KaisoAri ·

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I'm not sure where to post this for proper critique on the forums, so I'll post it here instead.

 

Anyway, been putting some time into RPGMaker VX Ace after finding some time to from my busy life. I think the last post I made was back in March... I haven't shown much game play because I still want to round out some of it and try some other scripts and ideas. But, there's not a lot I can do about it at this time until further into development. What I would like is a bit of critique on the intro story. Is there any grammar mistakes? Is the pacing good? Is there anything I can change/remove? Any type of critique would help. I'm not really a big fan when it comes to intros since they are the hardest thing for me to come up with... So, any and all help would be nice.

 

Well, here is some footage of it. Let me know what you think!

 

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Loriesquare

It's actually great! I didn't get bored watching it. It caught my interest the whole time it was on.

 

The only grammatical mistake I saw was near the end, "Why would you do this to the them?"

And the beginning with the crystal thingy, I think the wait duration until the text starts rolling is a bit too long.

Although you may be just waiting for the music to kick in.

Speaking of the music, the BGM is amazing.

 

When you were fighting, I was screaming "USE YOUR ABILITIES!!" XD

I guess there's none yet or you don't have any but nevertheless, it was really good.

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KaisoAri

It's actually great! I didn't get bored watching it. It caught my interest the whole time it was on.

 

The only grammatical mistake I saw was near the end, "Why would you do this to the them?"

And the beginning with the crystal thingy, I think the wait duration until the text starts rolling is a bit too long.

Although you may be just waiting for the music to kick in.

Speaking of the music, the BGM is amazing.

 

When you were fighting, I was screaming "USE YOUR ABILITIES!!" XD

I guess there's none yet or you don't have any but nevertheless, it was really good.

 

I kinda figured the beginning dialogue was a bit of a wait... I can try to put something else in there to help speed it up or make it interesting. But, yeah, I was waiting for the actual music bit to kick in before I started having text displayed. And I'll be honest, after play testing the beginning part so many times to make sure it ran right did drive me nuts because I did have to sit through the long wait. =P

 

I carefully handpicked the BGM through several games that I played that would match the atmosphere. If you are wondering, the BGM is from Klonoa: Door to Phantomile and Phantasy Star Zero. I could link some of the music from Youtube if you want to give them a listen.

 

As for the abilities, I forgot to remove that bit from his character data. I had an uber skill made for him, but the only problem was that you could use it against the "boss" and I didn't want players to use it, thinking that they could win, only to find out that it does nothing to the boss. xD Whoops! It's also for plot reasons.

 

I'll poke around with that grammar mistake. I wasn't sure how to word it out to without making it sound lazy... But thanks for catching that!

 

Glad you liked it! I am pretty happy with it but I may change a few things about it. However, I will keep a lot of things secret until further development.

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