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Rant #1: Online Dating

Vox Dia

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Oh-huh-hooo yes. One of the 9,000+ things I abhor. Online dating is like a long distance relationship. Wait. Online dating IS a form of long distance relationships. Why do I hate it so much, you ask? Well, pull up a seat and grab a thing of popcorn because this is one hell of a story.

It all started about a year ago. There was this girl (I won't name names) I was dating. At first, it was a nice close relationship until she moved somewhere else. I, being the loving whelp, always asked if she was okay, if she needed anything, etc. All I get are plain answers. Few months later, next thing I know, she goes off dating two other people at once! Ain't that a kick in the head. Hurts, right? Surely enough, one of them found out and dumped her on the spot while the other guy held on. After a few more months, some stuff happened, I can't remember what, and he dumped her as well. After that, she comes crawling back to me, I decline, and she tells me to tell the other guy that she still "loves" him. Pfft. Jesus Cristo, what a persistence, I'll say. Jeez.

Anyhow, moral of the story: Always think what might be happening behind the screen. This goes for anyone currently dating someone online or something like that. I also feel bad for those affected by the realization that they've been violated and misused after everything they've done for that person. People don't seem to realize how disoriented and emotionally-damaged others who fell victim to this realization were and still are affected. This world is tainted with materialistic scum. If you don't get them what they want, they'll strike at you ever so silently. This is downright horrible to the core. These people have HEARTS. And the scum chose to shatter them. When I found out I was betrayed, I turned into a lonesome beast. A hikikomori, if you will. I never wanted to feel alive. I didn't eat properly, I flucked in school, my productions sucked. I went from happy, optimistic, and upbeat to rancid, antisocial, and suicidal in a spit second. Luckily, I refused to greet the noose because there was a small amount of joy. Of hope. A shining light gleaming through my heart. I became me again, only different. I when from Richard, the antisocial and possibly sadistic author, to the lovable Dia, the optimistic, crazy-fun scene girl who is obsessed with art, music, games, and food. I just want to spread amessage. What's really going on behind that computer? And of course, I don't wish to discourage anyone currently in a long distance relationship. Thanks for reading. Love you guys! ^3^



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It's difficult to maintain any kind of relationship online, not just the idea of a romantic one. I only regularly communicate to one person who I knew in High School.

Maybe I'm just heartless, but I find it difficult to see how you could be so devastated by the betrayal of your friend. While it might be hard to lose a friend or loved one, as you already somewhat had, one should always be prepared to stand on their own feet, even when their emotional scaffolding has been kicked out from under them. Good to hear you were able to bounce back, though.

And indeed, what is 'behind the computer'...

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That is very very true. Although I have not had the chance of doing any online dating, I do think that betrayals still hurt, online or offline.

 

Truth be told, I have only dated once. It was fun, until things happen (as they always do, eh?). I do admit that the relationship was going downhill. When I found out I was being "betrayed", I somehow had a feeling that that was the case. After that, we broke up and all that jazz. Oddly enough, although it did hurt, nothing really changed in my routine. Life goes on, I didn't feel any big changes. I'm not sure if I was in denial, or if it was something else.

 

Well, I kinda strayed a bit there, but yeah, my point is basically the same as Chaosian (kinda). Also, my advice is, always second guess whatever anyone says on the internet. It is really easy to fake or impersonate and fool people with it on the net. Note that online dating in this case means dating with a stranger on the net.

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Mhh, I was in a long distance relationship, way way back and it turned out the girl was a guy. Shocker. I know. *gasp* But seriously, I see what you're saying and at least it made you into who you are now. :)

 

I've had a lot of problems in my current long distance relationship because she felt she could never be good enough for me because I said the most stupid stuff so she pushed me away and she was getting worse and worse and I didn't know what to do because I finally realized that she was the only one for me but she was losing herself because she thought she wasn't good enough for anything and she blocked me from everything but I persisted, she even tried to act like she was dating another guy when really she barely even saw him and then one day all my emails, all my messages, texts, dropbox videos finally got through to her and she wrote something to me that I'll never forget....

"I want you so bad, I'll prove that I deserve you." and now every single day she dotes upon me with ardor and love and affection and she's so much happier now, she and I both, and honestly, I forgot what it was like to have her love me and this time, this time for the life of me will I never make her think she isn't worthy of me, because I am nothing in comparison to her...nothing...

 

So I guess in the end it all depends on the mentality of the person. You were in a toxic relationship and I'm glad you made it out safe, Dia. I think you're pointing out a good lesson for avid online daters, though.  

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Online dating aside, because I don't know anything about it, we are all on this forum engaged in a long-distance relationship of sorts with each other.  Sure, it's not the emotionally-consuming, earth-shattering type of connection, but it can be an important part of our lives.  I'm just saying, there can be good in online relationships too!  

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OH god; MAN, I was in a very similar situation to you, only mine wasn't online. (irl one)

 

I had been dating a guy for ~4 months, and found out recently that he had a "girlfriend"/hook up chick in the background the whole time... He had been cheating on her with me, while trying to get me to sleep with him the whole time, while ALSO using Tinder and trying to get laid 2-4x a week at bars/parties... he also did a ton of drugs...   

 

Ugh. He really came off as a nice guy. He was a nurse-in-training, took care of old people, children/ babies, respected his family; told me he volunteered.... 

 

 

Tbh, there were some red flags. But you always want to give people the benefit of the doubt. And you never at all think/ imagine some people to be so bad/ terrible-- in addition to the "blinded-by-love" effect.

 

Sorry that happened to you. It really does suck, and you feel devasted/ unworthy after crap like that happens to you. I don't know what it is, but tbh, i feel like all this Tinder/ party-YOLO stuff has given people more options and feel less inclined to settle down. 

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