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Entry 010: Vulnerability and Anarchism



(Entry 00F +1 was an addendum to Entry 00F)


So, this year thus far has been garbage. Society has fallen to that of slavery, and even though there are the some few that have awoken to the horrible nature of Statism and Totalitarianism, it truly is a case of too little, too damn late because unless the few gather and demolish the system of slavery already in place like, now, there won't be any hope left.


The Divines are already enacting their wrath, but not in favor of any mortal. Eliminating mortals en mass is what is happening, and that's it. Cosmic forces are reshaping the economic center of balance for life on this planet, and there's not a thing mortals can do to stop that. Even if mortal kind wakes up en mass and destroys the system of imbalance and immorality, it's not going to stop the cosmic forces from enacting the rebalancing of life energy.


But that's big picture stuff. None of that matters right now. It's just something I can take solace in later.


Right now, I'm wracked with worry because of the fact that I am too honest and stand up for those who cannot or will not stand up for themselves, making myself an even larger target for abuse.


My dog, Oscar is turning fourteen this year. That's old for any dog, even more so for a Pug, whose lifespan expectancy is eight to ten years. Oscar is not in the best of health, hasn't been for a couple years, but is in okay health for his age, in comparison to Max, our other pug who was put down back in 2016 (before the move/knowing that we'd have to move) after having a seizure and basically never really coming out of it. Max' health was horrible in comparison; he had gone almost completely deaf, and was pretty much blind. His bark was shrill, and he didn't move around much near the end. He was overweight and his mobility was lackluster at best. He was thirteen, and though it was sad to know he was gone, I'm so glad he's gone; he no longer suffers and no longer feels pain. He's in the capable hands of Eden now, and that thought does trigger some good feelings. Anyway, Oscar in comparison can still hear, see, is still able to move, and has more energy.

But he's still old and is weakening, and that can be seen when he's walking around outside (since we don't have a yard like Oscar needs he has to be on a leash - well because of this stupid law I won't talk about here anyway). Whenever he does his business, he actually takes longer and there are times when he'll stop and act like he's going to, but doesn't. He'll do this a few times before actually doing it. We always pick up after him (and often times after others that don't), but it is when he squats and does nothing, that's what is now causing people to abuse us with false claims and I took a stand against it because my Stockholm Syndrome-ridden roommates won't. If worse come to worse because of this...


I won't allow myself to live life homeless. I'll be straight with you all.

I may be close to having a demo ready, but it doesn't mean a damn thing if I have no stable place to work from and live.

Furthermore, if it comes down to that, I'll be jumping off the nearby bridge because I'd rather curse those who abused me with my blood on their hands than die out on the streets (which will happen because I don't have resources on hand to deal with being homeless including the mental part).


Of course, that's just me telling you this because that has been hung over my head and lain on my shoulders for so long, that it is an ever-present danger. If I could, I'd get a private security detail. That way, no one could harm me or my dog in such a manner ever again. But that would cost me more than dental implants would. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSS!!!!!


It all comes down to greed and avarice. I'm sick of it!!

(Oh, and yes, I've backed this up; I can easily reupload elsewhere and link it.)