NOTE: Before reading, watch Fun Dead! This won't make a whole lot of sense if you haven't seen it!
Eduardo looked out the window at the chaos outside. Blood everywhere.
“Another zombie apocalypse?” he growled, “Isn’t this the third one or something?”
“I think so!” Jon replied, “I’m not sure I’m ready for another one.”
“Our apocalypse storage ran out after that spirit infestation,” Mark added, “We really aren’t ready for this.”
“Guess we’ll have to brave the latest zombie apocalypse and go shopping,” Eduardo sighed, “Come on, get your coats. We don’t have all day and there’re hundreds of ‘em out there.” Eduardo opened the door and stopped for a second.
“Can somebody shut off that stupid car alarm?” he growled, “It’s been driving me nuts all day.”
“It’s been on for ten minutes,” Jon said a little sheepishly. Eduardo shot a quiet glare at him before grabbing a baseball bat and walking out. Mark and Jon followed him to the car and the three drove off to go get food.
When they got there, the shop was in shambles. Blood, guts and potential groceries were strewn about everywhere.
“We have to be careful,” Eduardo said, taking in the wreckage of the shop, “Let’s stick together and only get what we need.” And so, the three went shopping for food, getting only things that would last a long time, things that would store for another apocalypse. Unfortunately, this was a zombie apocalypse and it wasn’t long before the undead found their way inside the shop.
Eduardo glared at the zombies and readied his baseball bat.
“Mark, Jon, get behind me,” he growled, “You two are hopeless at fighting and I’d rather not have to deal with either of you being one of these brain-hungry losers.”
“Eduardo?” Jon asked quietly.
“Yeah?” he friend replied.
“I don’t know where Mark is…”
Mark walked down the street to another shop that might have more food, humming quietly and keeping an eye out for the zombies. Unfortunately, he didn’t notice the car barrelling down the road until it rushed through a blood puddle, splashing him with whoever’s blood it may have once been. He blinked in surprise and looked around.
“Who did that?” he asked himself, “I should probably follow that car. Maybe whoever’s in it can help us!” And with that thought, he ran after it.
Eduardo and Jon shoved the groceries in the car and drove home.
“Shouldn’t we try to find Mark?” Jon asked, clearly nervous about the whole ordeal. Eduardo nodded.
“But for that,” he replied, “We’ll need a lot more than just a baseball bat. Last time I checked, we had some other blunt objects. Let’s go get them and go.” Jon looked out the window at all the zombies.
“If I get bitten, promise me you won’t let me turn,” he said. Eduardo glanced at him.
He looked back at the road.
“I won’t let that happen.”
When they got home, they shoved the food in their emergency supplies and geared up. They grabbed cricket bats and lead pipes and Eduardo wrapped barbed wire around his bat. Jon put on a welding mask and Eduardo strapped a pair of gardening shears to his leg.
“Let’s go,” he said, opening the door back up and smashing a zombie in the face, “I ain’t in the mood to deal with these undead pendejos more than I have to.” They quickly ran out and got in the car. It wasn’t until that point that they realized neither of them knew how or where to actually find their missing friend. They drove around London until they ran out of gas which, to be fair, wasn’t a long time as Eduardo had forgotten to fill it up in the midst of the apocalypse that had been going on since winter. It was spring now and he still hadn’t found time to bother with that. Luckily, they caught sight of Mark in the midst of a zombie horde in an amusement park – and he was still alive! They grabbed their things and rushed in, killing zombies left in right in splatters of gore and guts, not noticing the other three survivors doing the same to other zombies.
“Mark!” Eduardo called out over the horde, “Mark, what are you doing?!”
“I came to find survivors!” he replied, rushing over with his groceries.
“Come on, we need to get gas for the car,” he said, “Let’s get outta here before they realize we’re here!” Jon pointed at all of the zombies going towards one area… and stopping?
“What are they doing?” he asked, “That’s a little odd for zombies, don’t you think?”
“Who cares,” Eduardo said, grabbing Mark and Jon and dragging them off, “Let’s just get home. We finally have everything we need to hole up for the apocalypse this time.”
Jon turned on the television when they got back.
“The zombie apocalypse has ended, everyone!” a cheerful newscaster announced, “Unrelated, a new theme park opened up where asdfland was – FUN DEAD! Come on down to the new attraction, run by Edd G-” Eduardo turned it off.
“We went through all of that for the zombie apocalypse to just end suddenly?!”