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Red Army Files: 001 (PROJECT WAIFU)

The following LOL Instant Messenger conversation was found on the laptop of Paul de Vroom while Yuu R Johnson scoured it for information. It was deemed too hilarious not to share around.

TIMESTAMP: 10:30 AM

Xx_redleader_xX
Paul I need you to deliver a box of weapons to the armoury in the lab. The lab boys accidentally created something that might try to kill us all if it escapes.

-lemondemon
It’s my smoke break. Can’t it wait?

Xx_redleader_xX
No. Go do it. I’ll give you an extra smoke break after.

-lemondemon
Alright.

 

TIMESTAMP: 11:15 AM

Xx_redleader_xX
Paul.
Paul why did you give the weapons to my tentacle monster?

-lemondemon
I tripped and it picked them all up.

Xx_redleader_xX
Great.
Great now I have a knife wielding tentacle monster.
A KNIFE WIELDING TENTACLE MONSTER.
How is that even useful?
Go ahead. Explain to me how that is even remotely useful.

-lemondemon
You can throw your enemies in there with it?

Xx_redleader_xX

For that idea alone I’m letting you keep your smoke breaks.

 

TIMESTAMP: 4:03 PM

Xx_redleader_xX
I just thought of another use for Naifu Waifu.

-lemondemon
What use is that?

Xx_redleader_xX
Throw in people who disappoint me. You have to get at least one knife away from her before I’ll let you out.

-lemondemon
When will you try this out?

Xx_redleader_xX
Right now.
With you.
Good luck!



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Hehe... A tentacle monsters made in a lab huh? You know maybe it's because I got Disgaea 4 lask week while ago and have been playing it, but I couldn't help but picture the tentacle monster as a cute little girl... Bonus: While that character doesn't have a knife, she does magichange into a sword. That's sorta close right?

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lolz Yeah, that's sorta close!

 

I can't find my reference picture just now, but Naifu Waifu is about 30 feet (9.144 metres) tall, dark red and has a knife in each of her tentacles. She's unfortunately something that might delay the game's progress, but she's also a driving force behind why I came back. Look, I can sprite off a base, I can't sprite by myself-

 

That little girl's adorable. What's her name? 10/10, would hug.

Edited by AutumnAbsinthe

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It's two different games in the same series really. It's a great series if you like cute and/or sexy girls. And guys too really sometimes. Also all the games are completely 100% off the wall bonkers and can be hella addicting to play if you like strategy/tactical RPGs. Heh heh... Hella addicting. It's funny cause, ya know the games basically take place in the 'netherworld' (technically many interconnected netherworlds across multiple parallel dimensions, and sometimes you visit 'Celestia' witch is basically heaven and a human world or two).

 

Disgaea 1, 4 and 5 all have versions for the switch too which is what I got! The games really have no connection except for a few cameos here and there (also often random cameos from many other related games made by the same team), so really if you want to try it I would go right for Disgaea 5. I think it's the best one and really really added a looooot to the series. Though I will warn you: If you try any of them be prepared to grind your face off. :P Especially if you want to do any of the optional post-game stuff. You know how most JRPGs have a level cap of 99? Hehe... Yeah... In the Disgaea series... it's 9999. Though you only really need to get to a bit over level 100 to beat the main story most of the time.

 

Also getting to level 9999 isn't the end. Oh nonono. To really max out a character you often need to reincarnate to start over at level 1 with better base stats and do it again multiple times (though in Disgaea 5 it works a bit differently since your base stats have more to do with class mastery and the player can give characters ). Though there are ways of getting exp ridiculously quickly by the time the post game ramps up. Still, in Disgaea 5 I have several characters who have reached level 9999 multiple times (and mastered every class/subclass) and I still get my ass kicked when I try to fight the dang superultramegasecret boss.

 

That's not even getting into the Item World (if you wanna power up items, you can go inside them and fight your way through random dungeon floors), Chara World (in 4 it's more random dungeons I think, in 5 though they changed it to a kinda Monopoly or Mario Party style board game), Dark Assembly (it's called slightly different things in each game, but basically it's a demonic politics thing where you bribe demon senators with items they like to raise their favor and try and get them to vote on things to unlock stuff or give you various bonuses), and all the other wacky mechanics. It's nuts I tell ya! Almost to the level of Homestuck's absurd parody RPG mechanics at times really. But it's fun! Or at least I think so.

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