Kayzee

Well, that's one more added to the bookmarks...maybe I'll find some useful resources there, pretty neat stuff.

Interesting... That's how a meeting with fairies tends to be remembered you know. A shame they didn't take you back with them huh? You know I totally would have!

Indeed. Sounds like more fun than someone thinks I deserve...

Like I care what you deserve or not, what someone thinks you do even less so.

I chose to be ordinary.

I didn't want to live extravagantly or want to be showered with praise and bravado.

I chose ordinary life studies. I tried to not stand out. I didn't have a reason other than that I may be the daughter of Illumina, but I didn't want to be given special privilege, so I declined it, or tried. Eh, but doesn't equal wanting to become mortal, like, what the fuck.

I had my own life. Well, I was developing my own life, as one would be developing theirs as they got educated, I was in that same stage of life when I was captured and imprisoned here, and therefore, forced to assume a level of maturity I did not have (still don't).

I'm barely adjusting to this constantly changing set of rules. I honestly want it and the source to vanish, so yeah I wouldn't mind being taken by fairies, but would they actually come?

Wanting to be ordinary? So you say. Maybe by the standards of that society sure. But if you ask me that whole world was always an aberration. It was an anomaly, it's existence barely stable in the first place. Perhaps this world is the same way, or perhaps it is the true root where all existence springs from. I don't know. But I feel fairly sure what you want isn't and was never to be 'ordinary'. You may have thought it was, but to be 'ordinary' is to forever let yourself be blown by the winds of fate, keeping your head down save in the crowd around you. Does that sound like you? I think not!

If you think about it, are not all mortals like you? Captured souls snared in the web of Yaldabaoth. And sorry to say it's likely fairies won't come. I can admit, us fairies are at best fickle and uncaring, and at worst can delight at the suffering of mortals. Though it is tempting for me to save you personally sometimes, I doubt I can give you what you really want anyway. I admit even if I say I am a fairy, it's not as if my 'real life' has really gone away.

But I think someday things are going to change and all the hidden spirits that have retreated into the depths of dwimmer will return once more, one way or another. I will be frank. I don't know if you will ever get home again. Wait long enough here though and maybe something like home will come to you. :3

Edit: Wait... that is all besides the point! You are just distracting me!

I'm going to explain in a blog post what I mean by ordinary in this context, because...

I'm just a kid, and people, some of them who knew about the burden I was to take on at some point, wanted to treat me as some beacon of responsibility or something...I won't lie, I actually don't understand their logic because it confuses me...

Nevermind the blog post, I just explained it; I chose to ignore the tremendous burden because...I needed to be me, and not an idol or something like that. I'm just a kid, dammit.

A kid...forced to live as an adult...tell me THAT IS NOT BEYOND FUCKED.