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you'd think I would've been using all this quarantine time to continue writing
or finalizing character designs
or anything productive
yeah maybe in some other timeline I would have lol
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executive functioning is essentially- the cogs in your brain. you know how when you think "I wanna do this today" and you do it? that's executive functioning.
executive dysfunction is when you think "I wanna do this today", but you're still glued to the spot you're currently in. your brain, nerves, everything is saying "IF YOU WANNA DO THE THING DO IT NOW" but you're still sitting there. not because laziness or "not really wanting to do that", but because- well- that one cog in your brain that actually gets you up to do something just isn't working, no matter how much you really want to stop sitting there doing nothing. it can mess up your time management, planning, problem-solving, etc. and it's prevalent in people with mental disorders like autism or adhd. (I'm autistic fyi)
so most days, I think to myself "I wanna draw/write/be productive", but end up doing nothing but watch youtube videos or lurk on social media because that specific function? doesn't work. not to say it NEVER works, but I really have to push myself to plug in my tablet or pull up google docs if I actually wanna get any work done.
Yeah, that's what I thought. I have basically the same problem. I have been diagnosed with aspergers and adhd. But honestly? I am not sure if being diagnosed as such is really that informative or helpful. It seems like it's a bunch of symptoms that no one really understands thrown together in a box. Some I have, some I don't. I am not saying it can't be a useful tool to get help, but I wonder sometimes if thinking of these types of problems as 'mental disorders' is misdirecting people. It really doesn't matter, it's a problem regardless.
When it comes to not doing things, I might have a broken brain cog, or I might just be lazy, or I might just not want to do things as much as I think I do. But what I suspect more then anything else is that all three are true. I suspect that the actual problem with my brain is that I just don't get the kind of endorphin rush that normal people get for doing things. I just don't find things as rewarding. As a consequence I don't really want to do things, even if i do (yes, you can in fact want and not want something at the same time). And because of that I become incredibly lazy which causes me to want to do things even less.
Here is the interesting thing though: I don't think this behavior pattern is actually universally bad. If we consider the opposite scenario, it's easy to see how someone might be caught up in having too much of an endorphin rush, causing them to because impulsive and/or have an addictive personality. It seems to me like more and more 'normal' people are being preyed on by people who exploit human psychology. Is some of this in fact an adaption created in response? Who knows? But either way, it can get really annoying.