Single Status Update
I'm at my wit's end. I've lost sleep, starved myself, sacrificed so much time and energy to two friends of mine and they never once returned the favor.
Should I cut ties and kick them off my proverbial planet? I don't know anymore.
- Show previous comments 1 more
You know I find that this sort of situation is actually often a bit more complicated then people think. I kinda think it's often easy for some people to miss how much someone is doing on your behalf, and at the same time I think it's easy for some other people to sacrifice themselves for people without other people ever really asking or even wanting the help. There is a whole complex dynamic of expectation and counter-expectation that often isn't really well thought out or communicated.
Yeah some people are just plain rotten and will take advantage of you any way they can, but I would like to think they are the minority. I think the majority of people are just kinda caught up in their own affairs and don't really realize they might be taking advantage of someone. On the other hand, I also think that people who do favors for others sometimes need to be more clear about what they are doing and what they expect to get out of it, for their own sake as well as the sake of the person they are doing the favor for.
Also, there is a reason it's called being "taken for granted" you know. Because it's easy to think in absence of any statement saying otherwise that favors are indeed "granted", that nothing is expected from them because of it. After all, sometimes it's true. Everyone has a different idea of what sacrifice means. Some people might not even want to be paid back or may find the idea offensive, others view everything as an investment to be paid back later. Some people find some tasks ridiculously simple or have loads of energy to spare, others find some tasks really really hard and find themselves drained easily.
In the end I think the solution you came up with is the best tobi... Communicate that there's a problem and give consequences if it's not solved, or at least explained. You need to tell them exactly what you expect of them and why. That being said, this type of communication should really happen before you do favors for someone if you can help it. You can't just expect them to know either, no matter how close they are, you need to communicate. Though if you already told them what you expected and they still don't give you it? Then yeah, they are 100% taking advantage of you, and you should kick them off your planet like the guy from 300 kicked that guy into a pit.