Jump to content


  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

About nallnaom

  • Rank
    Socieral Wanker

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Not Telling
  • Location
    Between my drink and a friend
  • Interests
    drinking, thinking

RPG Maker Information

  • RM Skill -
    Jack of All Trades
  1. nallnaom

    Ashes all around - Poem

    Ashes all around, Each particle of cinder was a testimony of a moment now long past, Each dying flame is a remainder of his memories from a distant past, In a bonfire, scorched is everything that once was owned, As with everything touched by the sands of time, No more shadows in the present, only in the past, Yellow pages burning fast. Rust in memories from corrupted days, All withers with the flowing of age, Yet everything is as intended, Thus he spoke: “All I am will go with me, for all I have done and said” ”Was what I am!” Work forged with heart and soul Actions carried with mind and wit. Not a moment yielded, Not a second wasted. Now all burns with him, All he was is gone His ashes scattered all around.
  2. nallnaom

    Desert of Solitude Poem

    Something I wrote last night.
  3. Something I wrote on a sleepless night. Start new topic
  4. nallnaom

    my first ever written draft

    Late reply cuz of real world problems! Damn First I wanted to never touch this, just to keep it around for laughs and that's it, but seeing the effort you put in the feedback, I spent this whole night rewriting it based on your notes man. Good observations. Also: - I am writing only at 2 AM and I'm not English, I'm what you might call an European Drunk-Jack. - I never really was one for archtypes or one type personality for my characters, - the writting style with those narration that you commented about. It's like that for a reason. Silimar to Metro but a little different. - HEALER character is a girl and 17 - Actually what I was trying to pull was to make the whole party protagonists - Bitch, Air Bud is zero compared to my WOLF. I have reasons why he seems more humane than animal, but it is still a secret It was mostly easy to write the lines for the Alchemist and Ranger, but I got brain farts each time I was writing lines for the HEALER and MONK. For some reason I just can't portray an innocent girl or a good religious person without thinking of stereotypes or making it sound as a joke.If I am to compare what I would want them to be like, I'd say the MONK would be an understanding idealistic fellow with slipups. As for the HEALER, I'm trying to portray her as Beth Greene's character in the fourth season of the Walking Dead. At least something close to that. Anwyay's I'll PM you as soon as I finish the second edit. AND: PROJECT OUT OF HIATUS (DAMN IT)
  5. Well I'm not apologizing! I'm just making a formal defense in writing to you and everyone to make sure no one misunderstands my words.
  6. Ok first I will admit that I did not read your stuff. Primarily cuz I was at work and don't really have the time. I'll do it as soon as I can though. Second you misunderstood what I said about SSI I'll edit that. English is not my first language and I got this ego problem where I don't like repeating myself. Third. For the sake of argument, I wont discuss it further in this topic as it's not in the spiriit of this thread, but in PM ok?
  7. NOTE - this is not an article for how to build your story or build characters or world. I will write about that in the future though. - everything written here is subjective and the opinion of the author as it usually is with these kind of guides. There is no right way. Assuming you read my previous post in which I talked about taking critique and improving your writing, else I'll just think you're dedicated and catch on fast. I want to write this part for those of you who, like me, have no real talent whatsoever just dedication and passion for what you do and are willing to stay up late at nights with jazz (or some form of music) in the headphones ignoring your idiotic drunk neighbours that keep you up until you have to go to work (we live in that kind of world). Part 1: Writing : http://www.rpgmakervxace.net/topic/34853-writing-critique-and-improvement-for-the-shy-and-the-chickens/ Now, it is my opinion that people like us can start by using our skills of observation to see what the people around us go through and what we feel in certain situations. I usually take notes and try to describe those feeling in words. You might start describing them in a poorly manner, that's where the critique I was talking about in the first part comes in. Some Examples: - You ever saw a man kicking an animal and throwing it 10 meters away? What did you feel? - Have you ever went out with friends drinking till that known feeling of euphoria overwhelmed you and made you do crazy things? Why? - Have you ever spent months or years trying to work on a project and succedded or failed? Why? What happened What did you feel? - What was your first experience when you applied for a job? What did you felt? - Something that always moved me was to read stories of what parents first fell when a child is born (anyone remember that scene with Ross from Friends?). I wanna read more parent experiences, not f***ing guidelines or psychoanalisys, but actual experiences. Writing these experiences down can help improve your writing by giving credibility to your words. It is just my opinion, but maybe outgoing, experienced people have the most benefit of doing this observation method. Why? Because I am more than sure that by now you experienced rejection and managed to see past words and empty promises given by society people (for your information, not talking political). Think of the expression: "if i had a dime for everytime I heard that". Now for the untalented young people. If you ever watched Avatar The Legend of Korra, did you notice something interesting about how it is presented? Its world, diverse cultures, technologies are heavily inspired from world history, mythology, religion. Not to mention it depicts real world problems. In my case, what caught my interest were the usage of chinese characters, indian five element concept, the industrial revolution, but by far the approach on the character psychological development was the most fascinating and realistic (gay issues *wink wink*). If you are writing something here's some subjects that I haven't seen in a while: - african culture and mythology - native american culture and history - see if you can explain how all the world's religions came to be in one point (thinking weed and ayahuasca here). - Stone Age cultures Again in the end im gonna copy paste the last lines from my previous post: "What the hell do I know? ... I do this in my own time and I had mixed feelings about what I wrote (always have, always will). I can't help you avoid blows but I hope you got some pointers! I hope this helps you and I am gonna risk by saying this but you may send me some drafts if you want a real honest opinion. I'll reply as much as I can,"
  8. Again, the over-saturated market issue with people who wanna say they are "published authors". I don't know the situation in the US but take my advice and don't count on the SSI forever. Income from the state comes with a psychological price. EDIT: The reason why I'm saying not to count on income received from the state is that in any country I've been to it always tries to screw you over somehow. I'm living in Europe mind you, and I've been living in 3 diferrent countries and I what I saw is that with each year they adopt laws to try and make it more and more dificult to receive this income. To give you an example, I had this danish classmate while studying in Denmark for some time. He was thirty something, an ex soldier with wife and kids, but no job and he was counting on a "form of SSI". Because of some new laws of something, he had problems receiving this income for a period of months just because they found out he was half british. My point is, state always tries to screw its people, but also this comes from me so.. By psychological price, I mean a false sense of longterm financial security that can cause a lot of issues. One of them being the classic "Why do they get more than me" classic world problem. The best example that I can give you is with the recent waves of syrian refugees. In Denmark, due to the coming of refugees they are being given money, food and shelter from the state and receive a decent income. The problem comes when immigrants like romanians, bulgarians and polish start complaining that they deserve the same so they ask for more. Finally the danes get pissed themselves and start hating foreigners altogether by being led into the false idea that any foreigner that comes into their country wants their stupid cash. To sum it all up, money is such a delicate subject that very easily cause distrust. I can only suspect where the problems start and where they end. EDIT 2: I should mention I'm overly cautious (not paranoid, just cautious) . And I think I lost my original point with this so I'd rather discuss it further in the mail as it is not in the topic of this thread.
  9. nallnaom

    my first ever written draft

    Heh, dude your bad review is one I'm waiting for.
  10. https://www.dropbox.com/s/fdawt2s3jjcmbe1/DEMO-DRAFT.docx?dl=0 Hello people, So this was my first piece of writing for a demo game I never finished. It's in hiatus as I don't have the art in me anymore, nor the nerves, but maybe sometime in the future. The story is set in a post apocaliptic world, centered around 4 characters. It's about 23 pages long, and though back then I tried to avoid typical cliches It seems I hit a couple. If you are a fan of the dark fantasy, you might enjoy this. Else well, feel free to piss over it
  11. control ourselves and take responsibility for the cr.... errrrr bad words that most people get touched by emotionally [sarcasm] and make this world a better place for our children so that they don't follow with this kind of foul language.
  12. Sorry for the late reply! Ok You certainly don't seem like one of the anime freak fans i was talking about! The extreme cases I'm talking about can't distinguish between what's real and what's not! I'll hapilly discuss this problem but in private (because to me this seems more as a clash of opinions) as it's not in the subject of this thread. Regarding my writing, you might be on to something when you said that it looks as if they don't end. I can't even remember what I was thinking about when I wrote it.. I have edited them out Regarding my vocabulary! I am not really the sort of person to censor my words. Always straight and to the point.
  13. NOTE - this is not an article for how to build your story or build characters or world. I will write about that in the future though. - everything written here is subjective and the opinion of the author as it usually is with these kind of guides. There is no right way. Salutation to you all, Again, I freed myself from the shackles of my troubled mind, One sole purpose driven by that is to sheed some light, On to a topic that by definition knows no reason And yet, without logic it could not ignite, Initially by our feelings we were driven yet, Age took its toll and here we are, Searching for something more, Meaning, reason, purpose, Some say they found It and we follishly believe so, We take their words for holy writ, Attempting to follow in their footsteps, Liars, thieves and murderers I call them For they found nothing, yet they shout They stole our time, one of few true possesions we have, But most brutal of all, they killed our spirit, The one sole thing we are fully in control of, It was independent, carried with the winds on an autumn wind, crashing on the shores of Reason, Driven by our thoughts, Alright now I wrote that piece up there as an exercise for you to criticize. Its just a stupid ramble that I tried and feedback is welcomed. Now I'm gonna assume that most of you reading this are under 20, shy (not looking just at the girls) or some of those anime freak fans (seriously since 2010 you people give me the chills, but no more digressing) and are to shy to show your writing to someone. Now I'm asking you: 1) How the heck do you expect any improvement if you don't have feedback? 2) Why do you even give a f**k if what they're saying is truly said by the egotistical? Ok moving forward. If you wanna improve as a writer for plays, games, poetry and so on, first and foremost just ignore the really bad opinions (not if the opinion is not given with malicious intent). Don't give a shit. Second, watch bad movies and good movies in succession and watch out for character behavior, lines, environment, mood anything that raises an eyebrow. An important thing to not do here is read reviews on IMDB or even ratings (they tend to affect judgement). Remember you are not training to become a critic but improve your own work, so be as subjective in your thinking as you want, don't be objective (its your writing, your rules). Compare that to what you have and improve. Third, never throw away your drafts, You wanna say months later "What the f**k was I thinking" Try and show some drafts that you wrote to people outside this forum. By this I mean get the hell out of the house and get some stranger opinions. If you are a woman though be cautious as some men take this as flirt. As for the dudes, who knows you might score (not kidding) Never be a hungry artist! I cannot stress this enough. If you wanna do this as a passion you should be internally motivated and write for you and people close to you. Don't put shit on an already over saturated market where it's becoming more and more difficult to look for books that stand out. If you wanna do it by all means but don't get your hopes up. There a fine line between decent and hot dayum! Never give a twat! Last but not the least. What the hell do I know? I am a programmer and system admin. I do this in my own time and I had mixed feelings about what I wrote. I can't help you avoid blows but I hope you got some pointers! I hope this helps you and I am gonna risk by saying this but you may send me some drafts if you want a real honest opinion. I'll reply as much as I can,
  14. A pleasure! Just don't call me innocent, son. I'm a bit off my years!
  15. Hey, Name's Nall, A wannabe jack of all (they say I am, I say nay) Brother, Uncle and Engineer to be One thing in common I, As you all share To see real, what only we percieve A difficult journey lies ahead for you and me, But know that guide and companion I shall be, Ok! As you can see from above, my skill as a writer is below average:)) So yes, am I pretty much want to write my own game in rhymes (not sure if ill make it RPG or mostly Adventure). I'm not really an anime fan or anything japanese (no offense though just not my style). I preffer adventure and fantasy novels like The Kingkiller chronicle and the overrated Song of Ice and Fire Series. I am mostly a programmer so I'll spend most of my time in the scripting section, but I do know how to use Adobe AE and Photoshop, Don't know if I can join any big community projects, but I'll try to contribute with scripts once I get the hang of it. And one more thing, I'll try to write a short story script for the game I'm working on (I really only have some drawings made by me that I'll prob burn and drafts) Regard, Nall!
Top ArrowTop Arrow Highlighted