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Found 4 results

  1. Hello gang! I realize I've been absent via the RM scene as I've gone between jobs and other things the last few months, but I haven't forgotten you guys. I wrote this poem awhile back. It's a parody of The Night Before Christmas, and deals with government politics and presidential elections. It's a satire, but is not meant to offend or advocate for any one particular side over another. So please enjoy. The Night Before Election ‘Twas the night before Election, and all thro’ the House, The Demos were out clubbing, and the Repos all plowed; The stations were set with little to no care, For the votes that would soon be gathered there; The voters were content with the promise of lies, While hopes for the future continued to die, And Big Chief himself, looking kind of glum, Settled his brain for what was to come- When out of the blue there arose such a clatter, Why it’s the Ghost of Presidential Future The Evil Mad Hatter. Away with our dreams, it went with a flash, Tore open our hopes, and demanded our cash. The goon was abreast, out and in full, Requesting the blood of hard-workers and all; It waved its hands so that what may appear, Taxes and exemptions for the following year; With a do-nothing Congress full of dimwits, I knew in a moment it wasn’t St. Nick. More rabid than feeble, his customers came, And he whistled, and shouted, and call’d them all lame: “More taxes! More fees! Our voters are now dumber. “First Clinton, and then George, and finally Obummer! “In God we trust, all others pay cash! “So pay you minions, with the new health tax!†As trash in the wind is certain to fly, They shoved the ACA without batting an eye; And up through the House, the bill was pushed, And any who contested were all told to shush. And then in a twinkling, I heard on the news The Repos were all laughing while cooking their goose; The Demos all failed, ‘tis sad but ‘tis true, But the Repos are still bumbling while guzzling the booze. The Hatter was dress’d in colors of gay, While the Repos still shouted “True marriage shall stay!†Out of the sack, I saw a portion Of a Repo bill that banned all abortion The Hatter’s eyes gleamed, cold as a rock, This was the one that would replace Old Barack. His droll little mouth was drawn up in sneer, As he shouted the grand tidings of a miserable New Year! He whistled and grinned, and showed all his teeth, And heralded in America’s defeat. He clapped his hands and blew out some smoke And laughed when he told us our system’s a joke; A Hatter, a troll, or even a snake, A Demo or Repo, it’s all just the same; A promise of lies, a twist of their words, We soon must decide the lesser of turds. They promise recovery and plenty of work, But the rich get richer and the poor are still poor; Our freedom, our rights, the whole Constitution, They thumb their noses and call it superstition. More laws and more secrets, a change we can believe As long as we’re willing our rights to relieve. A Demo or Repo, such is our blight- We welcomed the change without even a fight.
  2. A little project that's been bugging me awhile. The title is named after a small idea I thought up in five minutes (hence Impromptu, and has nothing to do with Chopin's composition whatsoever). I was somewhat inspired by Mass Effect, so if you find the story familiar, feel free to slap me. So far, I've got a few plot bits sorted out, but the rest might need a little expansion. The Basic Premises Well, it's an RPG game. Whaddaya want. It's 2D, following the standard format. Screenshots to come when I've completed some sprites and maps. The theme is fantasy/steampunk, and involves magic and technology together. The main elements involve cheap shots at satire, involving mocking typical JRPG elements, while retaining darker elements such as the corruption of man into avarice and wrath, the collapse of social order and the player observing the flaws of various forms of governance. There will be penguins. The Plot The Characters The Game Features The Non-Stolen Original Artworks The People I've Shamelessly Ripped Off
  3. Spectre

    The Reverse RPG

    You all have heard the same old story before: a group of ragtag adventurers seek four mystical artifacts from around the world to defeat an evil boss hiding in his lair. There's just one problem: you realize the boss is utterly useless and have killed him in a single fell swoop of your dull blade. Now it dawns on you: you've essentially robbed four civilizations of their most valuable artifacts and trinkets; objects of worship, in order to kill off some whelp of an evil guy who turns out to be someone who isn't all that bad. Your inner guilt haunting you, you resolve to return the artifacts to where they truly belong, while dodging and interacting with angry natives and creatures you've mercilessly killed and plundered for gold and odd items that you don't actually need; but for some reason shopkeeps enjoy taking off your hands, as well as disgruntled, defeated bosses you've beaten to an inch of their life, now staring at you in confusion as you place the artifact they've guarded, and you've plundered, back on its pedestal. As you return all the artifacts and make your way back to your home town, empty handed but feeling like a better human being, you finally encounter the true final boss of the game: the tutorial NPC that won't shut up about teaching you how to use items and attack. As your characters finally snap and beat him to death, the credits roll. This stupid idea was conceived when a friend of mine asked what would happen if you played an RPG backwards. Yes, it's a satire of the old school, romantic styled RPG. But it might just work. Any comments? I'm expecting about six "this is stupid" replies.
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