Intro of our Elvarath

[SwordSkill 1]

Okay, this is an early game footage from our project:

<removed>

Thanks in advance for the feedback .

[Alarron4875 4]

The pixel movement is a nice touch. The sprites look... extra small. Characters look too small compared to chests and scenery. Not sure why.

 

It might have been just me, but if not, it would be nice if there was sound to go with this. When I watched it at least, it was soundless.

 

Production values are nice and the mapping is quite good - the town was super vibrant and full of life and variety. I love it! However, you seem to over-use the flat stone tile, throwing it over your roads in odd places a little too often. It was slightly off-putting. But the layout and mapping overall is quite good.

 

During the cutscene with Alanon giving you the job, (and this might have just been a problem with capturing it on video) some of the dialogue was cut off, stretching past the edges of the screen. This also happened several times after leaving Alanon's house.

 

You have numerous typos and grammatical errors. I would really focus on proofreading your dialogue and all of the writing in the game. If you'd like, I could do a play-by-play of sorts and list all the typos and errors, but I think it would be good for you to go through and polish it up yourself. Your mapping is pretty fantastic, and the game really stuck out at the beginning for me, and then as the writing deteriorated I started to lose interest. Which is a shame, because I think you have a ton of potential here. Definitely piqued my interest.

 

Keep working on it. You certainly have talent in mapping and putting together cutscenes (movement-wise). You've got a good start here

[SwordSkill 1]

Thanks for the feedback, you might want to turn on the sound in Youtube because it works fine for me.

[Alarron4875 4]

Yeah, for some reason it embedded within the forum was muted, but taking the link to watch it directly on youtube gave me sound. Weird lol.

 

The music/sound continues to add to my impression that you have a number of good qualities as a game designer   You've done a great job mixing sound effects, background sounds, and music. Lots of potential here... I'm interested to see what comes of it and where this game goes. Good luck

[SwordSkill 1]

The pixel movement is a nice touch. The sprites look... extra small. Characters look too small compared to chests and scenery. Not sure why.

Couldn't agree more with you, I really too hate the small RPGVX style sprites, unfortunately, due to not having a Pixel artist we are stuck with those for now.

When we make a recruitment page it's one of the first things we should ask (Along with mappers and scripters.)

 

Production values are nice and the mapping is quite good - the town was super vibrant and full of life and variety. I love it! However, you seem to over-use the flat stone tile, throwing it over your roads in odd places a little too often. It was slightly off-putting. But the layout and mapping overall is quite good.

Again, I couldn't agree more with you, the thing is that our "mapper" or at least the guy who decided to make the map, hadn't so much mapping skills. In fact, this is the very first map he has ever done.

During the cutscene with Alanon giving you the job, (and this might have just been a problem with capturing it on video) some of the dialogue was cut off, stretching past the edges of the screen. This also happened several times after leaving Alanon's house.

Unfortunately it's not so much that the video cropped it, but the fact that Yanfly's Engine Symphony - Pop Message (For some reason I can't seem to be able to find the script's link) appears to be bugged, when there is a long message, it throws the left part of the message out for some reason. (I can't believe they make scripts like that without properly testing them.) and to think that this is the best script I ever found for speech bubbles...

 

You have numerous typos and grammatical errors. I would really focus on proofreading your dialogue and all of the writing in the game. If you'd like, I could do a play-by-play of sorts and list all the typos and errors, but I think it would be good for you to go through and polish it up yourself. Your mapping is pretty fantastic, and the game really stuck out at the beginning for me, and then as the writing deteriorated I started to lose interest. Which is a shame, because I think you have a ton of potential here. Definitely piqued my interest.

Yeah, this is definitely by bad. You see, English is not my native language so, grammatical errors are bound to happen (at least for someone at my own English speaking level.), anyway, I'm currently asking assistance from a friend who speaks English significantly better than me.

Keep working on it. You certainly have talent in mapping and putting together cutscenes (movement-wise). You've got a good start here

Thanks again for spending your time reviewing the intro, We have high expectations from this Project as well, especially on what according the scenario, we are putting a lot of effort putting together the pieces smoothly so that there won't be any plot holes since the script is quite complicated.

My main focus is to let the player take some breath's before diving into the deep. I've seen numerous RPG games (and numerous RPG Maker games.) in which the whole story is thrown at your face as soon as you press "New Game".

FFXII for example and most of the RPG Maker games (who claim to have a decent scenario do this REALLY OFTEN.)

 

The result from this is to make the game's scenario confusing and hard to understand.

Since most of us who making this project are RPG lovers, we have gotten sick of how the average RPG Maker (and generally the RPGs.)handle the storyline.

Edited July 30, 2013 by SwordSkill

[Alarron4875 4]

 

The pixel movement is a nice touch. The sprites look... extra small. Characters look too small compared to chests and scenery. Not sure why.

Couldn't agree more with you, I really too hate the small RPGVX style sprites, unfortunately, due to not having a Pixel artist we are stuck with those for now.

When we make a recruitment page it's one of the first things we should ask (Along with mappers and scripters.)

 

>Production values are nice and the mapping is quite good - the town was super vibrant and full of life and variety. I love it! However, you seem to over-use the flat stone tile, throwing it over your roads in odd places a little too often. It was slightly off-putting. But the layout and mapping overall is quite good.

Again, I couldn't agree more with you, the thing is that our "mapper" or at least the guy who decided to make the map, hadn't so much mapping skills. In fact, this is the very first map he has ever done.

During the cutscene with Alanon giving you the job, (and this might have just been a problem with capturing it on video) some of the dialogue was cut off, stretching past the edges of the screen. This also happened several times after leaving Alanon's house.

Unfortunately it's not so much that the video cropped it, but the fact that Yanfly's Engine Symphony - Pop Message (For some reason I can't seem to be able to find the script's link) appears to be bugged, when there is a long message, it throws the left part of the message out for some reason. (I can't believe they make scripts like that without properly testing them.) and to think that this is the best script I ever found for speech bubbles...

 

You have numerous typos and grammatical errors. I would really focus on proofreading your dialogue and all of the writing in the game. If you'd like, I could do a play-by-play of sorts and list all the typos and errors, but I think it would be good for you to go through and polish it up yourself. Your mapping is pretty fantastic, and the game really stuck out at the beginning for me, and then as the writing deteriorated I started to lose interest. Which is a shame, because I think you have a ton of potential here. Definitely piqued my interest.

Yeah, this is definitely by bad. You see, English is not my native language so, grammatical errors are bound to happen (at least for someone at my own English speaking level.), anyway, I'm currently asking assistance from a friend who speaks English significantly better than me.

Keep working on it. You certainly have talent in mapping and putting together cutscenes (movement-wise). You've got a good start here

Thanks again for spending your time reviewing the intro, We have high expectations from this Project as well, especially on what according the scenario, we are putting a lot of effort putting together the pieces smoothly so that there won't be any plot holes since the script is quite complicated.

My main focus is to let the player take some breath's before diving into the deep. I've seen numerous RPG games (and numerous RPG Maker games.) in which the whole story is thrown at your face as soon as you press "New Game".

FFXII for example and most of the RPG Maker games (who claim to have a decent scenario do this REALLY OFTEN.)

 

The result from this is to make the game's scenario confusing and hard to understand.

Since most of us who making this project are RPG lovers, we have gotten sick of how the average RPG Maker (and generally the RPGs.)handle the storyline.

 

 

Okay, not having English as your native language makes more sense to the grammar and spelling challenges. In that case, you've done an admirable job, and it's good that you're getting help from someone who knows the language better than you do. It's nice to hear that you have a team, it can be quite challenging to put together a game all by yourself.

 

I'm surprised that your mapper has very little experience - they must just have a very artistic eye

 

Keep working at this, and I look forward to seeing more from this project. Good luck!

[Soul Crystals 0]

This looks fantastic! When will it be ready for download? :-)

[SwordSkill 1]

I'll post an update here by editing the first post with the new video. The download demo will take longer than we expected due to our limited time.

Our narrative designer will make some changed to the dialog as soon as he finds time.

When there is an update I'll notify you all who wrote in this topic via messaging.

[Fooder 1]

Great opening.

 

I love the sound effects and the little nuances. I think that the small things make or break games for me.

 

The only thing that seems weird is the way they are hiring. Aren't they worried that the main character is

going to rat on the whole plan?

 

They just kind of give him 3 days to think about it when he is iffy

about the concept to begin with.

 

I'd be tailing him with an assassin or something. Maybe i'm jumping the gun...

[Tsarmina 2,612]

Sorry that I'm so picky, but the first thing I noticed when I saw the (not-yet-played) video was that the guy in front...his arms are proportionally too short.

I'm sorry for nitpicking >.<"

[iCabrales 0]

Something I notice right away, when you enter a building, the chars walks on top of sign and/or roof

[Elder71 14]

I liked it, especially the opening, which made nice use of the functions available (pan camera, show picture etc).