(Game idea) feedback wanted!

[Jalice 41]

Hey guys, back again today with a little game theory that has been swirling around in my head.

 

 So thus far, I have really been mesmerized by the horror rpg genre. I'm truly inspired by games such as Witch House, Ib, Mad father, corpse party, lisa, the crooked man, there are just too many to count. And now that I've finally gotten into the rpg maker community, what better way to learn, progress, and gain experience then by making a first game? So I'm going to put one of my game ideas out there for some feedback~

 

 

This might be a pretty long post, so if your actually interested in reading it all, thank you! 

 

~I also underlined all of the questions I need advice with- to keep it organized. u v u

 

 

 

 To start of, let me review all of the story and plot that I've been piling up in my brain.

 

 It is a horror, of course. You are introduced as a young girl in her bedroom. The game starts off quickly- either without a cutscene, or a very short one, and the player is then free to roam around and figure out what is going on. As stated before, you start off in what is presumably the girls bedroom (as it looks like a young girls bedroom). It is found out very soon that the door to exit the bedroom is locked, and I'm thinking that once you have a candle (found in the bedroom) you can actually exit the room. After exploring for a while you switch to the brother of the girl who is trapped as well, but not on the same floor. After the player explores with him for a while, we then switch back the the girl, and so forth.

 

 The story then follows the girl (player) and the boy (also the player) exploring a large house (that doesn't make too much sense). The house/mansion/area is large and full of generic horror puzzles. All throughout the players' progression, we learn what our goal is and the story behind everything.

 

 My idea here, was that the girl and boy are two sibling who are basically trapped in the same limbo (or the twos' own personal limbo, which is their biggest fear(losing one another) embodied as a large and confusing house). Perhaps they died and got separated, but regardless- the main goal is that they get find each other.

 

 I couldn't help making the story like this- I'm just all for those innocent character in a dark and confusing place that they must escape. It's common- I realize- but I'm only looking to create a very simple horror game so I can use this as a starting point in learning more about Rpg Maker Vx Ace.

 

 

 

Here is one of my first concepts for the house layout - 

 

 

This is the floor that the player starts off on, and the floor the girl character is on. The boy character will be on the bottom floor very similar to this floor, but has different puzzles. I'm thinking the sibling encounter each other (at long last) in the top floor garden.

 

 The layout is not final, as I will most likely also be constantly adding on to this maps for more rooms and puzzles, so if you guys have any critique on the layout or any room idea, let me know! 

 

 

 

 

 ~But that's not all!  ~

 

 I have a few character concepts as well- and I still need to write out a bit of their personalities for feedback!<3

 

 Keep in mind I'm not the best artist ;; v ;; These are just a few sketches to start of the characters- Hopefully I'll finalize them soon~

 

 

 So I was thinking of basing the two siblings off a black rose and a white rose- whereas the sister is the black rose and the brother is the white rose. (Also, I had the idea that mabye the save points would be a black rose vase and a white rose vase, heehee)

 

 

 Here are a few concepts for the girl character<3 

 

I can't really choose what hair style and eye color to give her, any advice? 

 

 For her personality:

I was thinking she is very mature, elegant. Not very talkative, but apparently cares a lot for her brother. She's a pretty generic character, anything you guys want to add? Any ideas?

 

 

As for her brother (boy character):

 

I sort of have the idea in mind that he is more child-like, more talkative. He would give more commentary than the girl character. What do you think?

 

 

Both these characters have names I have yet to choose. Does anyone have any name ideas??

 

 

Okay, I have one last character concept. xD

 

 

 haha, did anyone expect this one? This is a character I had in mind that I just had to draw out. He would be the sort of embodiment of the siblings teddy bear that they used to have. Or something along those lines. Both of the siblings encounter him and he will give interesting commentary on the situation, if not very confusing and cryptic. There is no doubt, though, that he is an ally.

 

 My name ideas for him would be something very fancy- like Bastian, or Horace. Any ideas?

 

 

 

 

 

~Well folks, that's pretty much all of my ideas and concepts for this game 

 

 

 I'de truly appreciate any feedback, critique, and ideas you guys have! They would help out a lot! But regardless, thanks for reading into it this far if you have :'>

 

 

 Also, I apologize if this is in the wrong forum. But I think I chose the right one > v <;

 

 

-Jalice

[Nekotori 739]

So far so good, I like the teddybear in a butler costume That teddybear reminds me of my own character (Nyanpyr). The siblings contradicting personality can make good gameplay elements like the way they see or observe things throughout the story. And since both of us share the same inspirations (mines mostly Corpse Party) we can share thoughts and ideas quite often ^~^

 

Well I'm bad at thinking names but the first thing that comes in my mind for the teddy bear is Basty (short for Sebastian). Nyanpyr will surely love to talk with your bear character :3

 

Feel free to ask me questions if you like ^~^

 

And for the layout of the manor?

Seems good to me. And I'm sure you will be adding more rooms later on. (Basements are ideal too xD)

Edited July 18, 2014 by Kotori-chan

[Rush2112 52]

I like that concept! The whole switching back and forth thing is really unique. I'm curious to see the downstairs area as well. If you need any help with a storyline, just ask me.
Also, you are a very good artist too, don't count yourself out like that!

Edited July 18, 2014 by Rush2112

[SpookyMothman 361]

I'm not so big on horror games, but I like it so far. It is generic, yes, but you seem to embrace it, which I really like about your approach; you're making a game that you want to make. Even with such a basic concept, there are so many things you can do to set it apart. Just do what you feel is right.

 

You have very cute characters you're working with; I fell in love immediately. Personally, I think it would work out best if they were twins. Twins share a strong bond, and they would be able to tell that they were in the same place. It's also even more reason to find each other as quickly as possible.

 

I'm trying to think of some pun-ish names for the bear, but I'm not having any luck. I like Sebastian, though. Or Arthur. I guess it depends; do you want it to be playful, or serious? A little more information on the girl and boy, their personalities, and their relationship would help a lot in suggesting names, too.

 

Also, if you really want to mess with your players, put a well somewhere in the game. Or a hole. Isolated, and uninteractable. Just leave it there. Like Fatal Frame does. ... except something crawls out of the well in that game, so...

Edited July 18, 2014 by SpookyMothman

[Jalice 41]

So far so good, I like the teddybear in a butler costume That teddybear reminds me of my own character (Nyanpyr). The siblings contradicting personality can make good gameplay elements like the way they see or observe things throughout the story. And since both of us share the same inspirations (mines mostly Corpse Party) we can share thoughts and ideas quite often ^~^

 

Well I'm bad at thinking names but the first thing that comes in my mind for the teddy bear is Basty (short for Sebastian). Nyanpyr will surely love to talk with your bear character :3

 

Feel free to ask me questions if you like ^~^

 

And for the layout of the manor?

Seems good to me. And I'm sure you will be adding more rooms later on. (Basements are ideal too xD)

 

 Thanks for the feedback! and I actually think the name Basty is adorable omg<3 I probably should add a basement- since the floor the brother will be on might be smaller than the top floor- it would give the player more to explore (anndd more death scenes, probably cx ah, the world is cruel) I will definitely try and add these ideas! Thank you so much! and Nyanpyr sounds rad, I bet him and my bear character would love to sit around and chat over a cup of tea, haha xD

I like that concept! The whole switching back and forth thing is really unique. I'm curious to see the downstairs area as well. If you need any help with a storyline, just ask me.

Also, you are a very good artist too, don't count yourself out like that!

 

ahh thank you<3 I appreciate your support! ;; v ;;

[+ LadyMinerva 998]

Surprisingly, I played all the rpg horror games you listed and I would really like to see what would come out of this. 

Okay so my thoughts on this, I like the overall layout of switching from character to character, sort of like Ib and Gary since not a lot of horrors do this. Since it's like this and this is my opinion you can introduce a little history on these characters, why are they in Limbo and how they got into Limbo. That's my suggestion really but it would build up the climax of figuring out the mystery lol.

 

And by the way you were describing, it looks like your more into the Ib style, so for now, I like your idea and you should go for it. Keep updating us and we'll see how this project will go from here on out. So far your designs are purely exquisite and I have a feeling this may come out strong. I'll be waiting! 

 

Oh and since Spooky posted recently about the Twins, it does sound like a great idea because the story can be more personal and it lets the player ehhh indulge(?) into the game more. but that's what I said earlier, an opinion lol.

 

I'm not a horror pixel artist I'm afraid lol, but I know certain elements you can bring to stand out a rpg horror, let me know if you have something on your mind!

Edited July 18, 2014 by LadyMinerva

[Jalice 41]

I'm not so big on horror games, but I like it so far. It is generic, yes, but you seem to embrace it, which I really like about your approach; you're making a game that you want to make. Even with such a basic concept, there are so many things you can do to set it apart. Just do what you feel is right.

 

You have very cute characters you're working with; I fell in love immediately. Personally, I think it would work out best if they were twins. Twins share a strong bond, and they would be able to tell that they were in the same place. It's also even more reason to find each other as quickly as possible.

 

I'm trying to think of some pun-ish names for the bear, but I'm not having any luck. I like Sebastian, though. Or Arthur. I guess it depends; do you want it to be playful, or serious? A little more information on the girl and boy, their personalities, and their relationship would help a lot in suggesting names, too.

 

Also, if you really want to mess with your players, put a well somewhere in the game. Or a hole. Isolated, and uninteractable. Just leave it there. Like Fatal Frame does. ... except something crawls out of the well in that game, so...

 

 Oh wow! These are amazing ideas, and thank you for the feedback! The twin idea is perfect- I'm so going with it<3 It does make more sense, it would make them more connected and closer to each other. It seems that people are leaning more towards the name Sebastian for my bear character as well, or something similar, haha cx Your last idea is also sparking a lot of flames in my head too, I'm getting tons of ideas I can do with that   Again, thank you so much! This will help out a lot!

[Jalice 41]

Surprisingly, I played all the rpg horror games you listed and I would really like to see what would come out of this. 

Okay so my thoughts on this, I like the overall layout of switching from character to character, sort of like Ib and Gary since not a lot of horrors do this. Since it's like this and this is my opinion you can introduce a little history on these characters, why are they in Limbo and how they got into Limbo. That's my suggestion really but it would build up the climax of figuring out the mystery lol.

 

And by the way you were describing, it looks like your more into the Ib style, so for now, I like your idea and you should go for it. Keep updating us and we'll see how this project will go from here on out. So far your designs are purely exquisite and I have a feeling this may come out strong. I'll be waiting! 

 

Oh and since Spooky posted recently about the Twins, it does sound like a great idea because the story can be more personal and it lets the player ehhh indulge(?) into the game more. but that's what I said earlier, an opinion lol.

 

I'm not a horror pixel artist I'm afraid lol, but I know certain elements you can bring to stand out a rpg horror, let me know if you have something on your mind!

 Thank you so much for the feedback!  I probably should write out a little bit more on the two characters- they are the main protagonists, after all xD I'll definitely get on that- and I am sure to make the siblings twins now- I almost didn't even think about that when making the characters! I was also thinking of giving the maps a lot of lighting and atmosphere- and a few ethereal type maps with interesting puzzles u v u<3 Thank you for the support, I'm so happy to see you guys are liking this idea! :'>

[Nekotori 739]

If you want sprites for your characters, I can do them for you if you got them ready ^~^ I'm really looking forward to these kind of games

[Jalice 41]

If you want sprites for your characters, I can do them for you if you got them ready ^~^ I'm really looking forward to these kind of games

 

 Really? Wow, thank you! That's really nice! I'll message you if I need some spriting help, then<3 That would really help out a lot- I have yet to practice character spriting and I'm a little scared I'm going to be quite terrible at it cx and thanks! I also can't wait until I've finally fleshed out the story and I can create the first map :'>

[Rush2112 52]

Ah, the joys and pains of pre-production... lol. I like the twins idea too, personally.

[Shi-an 39]

I am a fairly strong supporter of having a good (or at least A) reason behind every name, rather than choosing based on whim and cadence alone. Or maybe I just like thinking up names. Anyway here are a few suggestions:

 

First of all in terms of names and hair/eye colour I suggest you take your inspirations (which you've already listed) and mix and match which characters you liked best, and especially which influenced your current characters. For example, since you mentioned Witch's House, you could have the names Viola and Ellen and apply them to your game, so you get Viola->Vi->Vincent and Ellen-El-Eleanor. You could apply the usual "twins have similar names" trope and have Eleanor and Elijah too.

 

I think roses are a bit cliche, but if you want to roll with it you can use that as a base for your names too. A quick look in wikipedia displays two subgenus names that you could apply to a boy and a girl: Carolinae->Caroline and Gallicanae->Gallio. They are also somewhat similar in terms of vowel placement.

 

If you want to go with a black/white yin/yang two parts one whole thing, you could use colours. Black->Bel(inda) and White->Will(iam)/Wiley

 

OR Black->CHYOHR-niy(Russian)->Chelsea and White->BYEH-liy(Russian)->Ben(jamin).

 

I actually like the idea of reversing the colours for the names, so Black->Noir (French)->Noel (Male) and White->Shiro (Japanese)->Shirley

 

 

For the bear I'm not so sure.