Catty Lands

[Whiona 310]

Wow, this looks super cute! Wonderland-inspired settings are always a lot of fun, and I love the idea of an all-female cast. Kitria seems like she'll be an interesting character, and Aretia's sprite is adorable. The songs you've put up so far sound really good. I think it's awesome that you'll be composing the soundtrack all by yourself. 

 

If I had one criticism, it would be that the maps in the screenshots are a bit empty-looking at the moment. The Catwalk of Aeons Dungeon looks nice, though! I like the layout of it.

[Saeryen 299]

Oh Whiona, thank you so much! That seriously warmed my heart.

 

I'm working right now on getting a portion of plot cutscenes done, after which I'll look at working in gameplay and tweaking maps again. Thank you so much, all of you guys. I really want this game to be a success, and your support and kind words have really encouraged me. You all are awesome and I love you.

[Saeryen 299]

Update: As I am eventing cutscenes right now, I am currently stuck since events are misbehaving. Until it is resolved, I'm working on writing the whole plot, and I must say I'm proud of the work I've done on that yesterday and today. I have plot points I know are happening (I know how it will end, I know certain points in the story) so what I'm doing is connecting them and trying to figure out what I labeled as "important information" or "important items" actually are and how they relate to the story.

[lonequeso 1,921]

I read that post about the pesky scene. I'm stumped as well. I'm glad you decided to change gears, and not stop altogether till you figure it out. When you're flying solo there's always something to work on  I just started added some depth to my world too. Fleshing out a little bit of history and dates. I also decided to make a side quest part of the main story so I have do some rewriting to make it flow. I also figured out a way to add a hilarious cut scene that I originally decided not to use. 

 

Connecting the dots can be hard sometimes, but it's also really fun, and it's really rewarding when to get it all flow together.

Keep at it! 

[Saeryen 299]

I'm spicing up the dialogue in my early cutscenes. Would I post it here for feedback?

[+ Takeo212 1,079]

I would love to read over any dialogue in your game Saeryn~

I'm sure you can get some good feedback by posting it

[Saeryen 299]

Thank you! Alright, I got some:

 

 

This is a scene where Katrina and Maia go to the Temple of the Queen Quinn to seek the head psychic/diviner to receive divination about what happened to Maia's missing parents, who were taken by the Cat Queen's army.

 

Head Psychic: Maia and Katrina. I knew you would be coming here.

Maia: So you know why we're here?

Head Psychic: Indeed. My name is Priscilla. I understand that you, Maia, wish to go to the Cat Queen's castle.

(Note: Head Psychic is now labeled "Priscilla" since she's given her name)

Maia: And you're going to tell me not to go there, correct?

Priscilla: That would be correct. However -

Maia: Exactly as I thought. You're all the same!

Priscilla: HOWEVER.

Maia: However...?

Priscilla: You will not need to go to the castle to find who you are looking for, I know that much. As to where the people you seek may be, let me divine such for you...

(Priscilla does divination; ME plays and screen tints blue to show she is doing it)

Priscilla: Aha!

(ME stops; BGM starts up; screen tints to normal)

Priscilla: Maia, listen closely. Your mother and father were indeed captured by the queen's army for opposing her. However, they did not reach Cattilian (the world capital).

(Maia has an exclamation balloon icon)

Maia: Oh no!

Priscilla: Do not fret, my child. Aradia and Alexander (names of Maia's parents) took a lifeboat and managed to flee their captors, finding their way south to the continent of Eriena.

Maia: Oh, thank quinns! (Note: Quinns are winged cats that make up the stars, it's their world's version of "Thank God")

Priscilla: They hid in the green forest of Kataryn, and -

(Suddenly, Miir, the queen's captain of the guard, appears, and all characters turn in her direction. Maia has an exclamation balloon as she says:)

Maia: One of the queen's soldiers!

Priscilla: Miir!

Katrina: You know her?

Priscilla: Indeed. She is the lowest -

Miir: Watch your mouth, prophet. You wouldn't want the queen to hear of how you just spoke of me.

(Priscilla has a sweatdrop balloon)

Miir: I come bearing her orders. Every psychic working at this temple is to come to the castle at once.

Priscilla: ...I'll be on my way.

(Priscilla moves out of the player's sight, indicating she is leaving. Miir takes a look at Maia and Katrina, then follows Priscilla out of the temple, after which Maia turns to face Katrina)

Maia: Will she be okay?!

Katrina: ...I hope so. I don't think we can do anything, though.

Maia: Poor Miss Priscilla...

Katrina: Don't worry, they...probably only want her to predict something.

Katrina: In the meantime, she told us your parents were in Kataryn Forest. Let's go there and see if we can find them.

(Maia has a "..." balloon)

Maia: Okay.

Maia: It's the rainforest on the southern continent, right?

Katrina: Yep. Let's go.

(minor spoiler below)

 

Priscilla comes back to the temple unharmed a bit later.

 

 

 

[lonequeso 1,921]

Yay scriptwiriting! I tried to read it last night, but was fast losing consciousness. Round two!

 

It's very well written. The scene and the conversation both feel very natural. The part that's feels a tad forced is the very specific location of the rain forest. It's gives the player clear direction so it's forgivable. Giving the player a clear objective trumps dialogue. No need to change it.

 

Just from that little dialogue, I have somewhat clear idea of the characters personalities. Miss Priscilla sounds like how'd I'd imagine a head psychic to sound. A very clear, articulate proper manner of speaking. Have you considered changing her title to Head Diviner? That kinda popped in my head when you note she does a divination. It's sounds more mystical, too    

 

Maia seems to have a more blunt way of speaking. She says just enough to get her point or thought across. No elaboration. Is she the more brash, impatient type or is it because of the situation? If I was looking for my parents, I'd be right to the point too.

 

I can't tell what type Katrina is just from that little bit.

 

Miir sounds more authoritarian which makes sense seeing as she's in a position of authority. She seems like the prideful type.

 

It seems like you have some very well-developed characters. I don't always get a good mental image from just reading. You did an excellent job making them feel unique and natural. I like that people in your world have different sayings. "Thank the Quinns!"

I like that   Little details like that can give your world a lot of depth. Also, the winged cats remind me of Happy from "Fairy Tail" 

 

I don't see anything that needs to be changed. I can't wait to read more!

[Saeryen 299]

In thinking about my game...

 

I think CL would work better if there were save points throughout the game rather than saving from the game menu, because this game has dangers that lower your HP and there's a certain scene I'm working on in which there's supposed to be a game over if guards catch Maia (I'll also address that). The question is, how would you have save points instead of saving from the menu, or is it even necessary to remove the menu option (I could have both)?

 

Before I post an event screenshot here, would it be better to put that in editor support?

[Saeryen 299]

Well, I figured out my problem with the mechanic I was working on, so yay!

 

Also, I was thinking I would maybe record this little mechanic and you can input?

[+ Takeo212 1,079]

You could use a parralel event to immediately "disable save screen" so players can use it.

You can also have an event for "action button/same as character" and the player can interact with it to save (a book, NPC, crystal, ect.)

 

 

I would be happy to a recording of the mechanic you have already

[Saeryen 299]

Recording is here: http://s674.photobucket.com/user/prophetesszealitys/media/maze.mp4.html

 

A few notes about the recording:

- The error thing has nothing to do with the mechanic; it has to do with a separate script

- The second playthrough is to show what happens when Maia is caught

- Originally, the guards would take two steps back when hit by Katrina, rather than transported to a far corner. I changed it because otherwise Maia might run into them and still get a game over even after they've been stopped

 

Also, any comments about the dialogue, scenery and/or use of the balloon icons versus text would be appreciated!

[raymi100 291]

I dunno if I've commented on this already, but your game looks wonderful :3 I'll be following to see your progress~ Good luck!

[Saeryen 299]

Thank you so much Raymi!

[Whiona 310]

Recording is here: http://s674.photobucket.com/user/prophetesszealitys/media/maze.mp4.html

 

A few notes about the recording:

- The error thing has nothing to do with the mechanic; it has to do with a separate script

- The second playthrough is to show what happens when Maia is caught

- Originally, the guards would take two steps back when hit by Katrina, rather than transported to a far corner. I changed it because otherwise Maia might run into them and still get a game over even after they've been stopped

 

Also, any comments about the dialogue, scenery and/or use of the balloon icons versus text would be appreciated!

 

This definitely looks like a neat little minigame, but it seems to be a bit too easy to stop the guards as long as you stay in front of Maia. To make things more difficult, maybe Maia could move faster, and/or multiple guards could approach her at once. 

 

In the cutscene before the minigame, the characters seem to do a lot of standing around for two people who are about to be seized by guards. You could probably cut down on quite a bit of the guards' dialogue, and maybe have them lunge at Maia and Katrina only to get deflected every few sentences. Or, if you really want to stick with the current scenario of the guards being too scared to lunge at them, don't have Katrina and Maia stick around for so long. If the guards are just standing there, then the two of them should try to make a run for it right away while they have the chance. The dialogue itself is well-written, but the scene as a whole just doesn't feel as fast-paced as it should, considering the circumstances.

[Saeryen 299]

THE PROBLEM SCENE IS FIXED!

 

Absolutely wonderful news. =DDDD Now I can get back to working on this properly. I had to go back and redo most of the cutscenes and take out a few switches, and play through all over again, but yay! And, luckily, it's still near the story's beginning, so it wasn't too much work!

[Saeryen 299]

I am so happy! I finished level 1 of the Cattilian reservoir dungeon!

 

I would post a picture but whenever I try to upload the picture, Photobucket instead gives me "this image has been moved/deleted" instead of my actual picture. *groan*

 

But, yay! I made a few puzzles and some dangers, and everything works perfectly except a couple things that I would probably need someone else's opinion and/or script to fix, and sometimes a certain danger doesn't move right, but it is DONE! Whew!

[lonequeso 1,921]

Congrat!   Soo...  demo?

[Saeryen 299]

I would love to release a demo, but I don't really want to move this to the Gaming Lounge until it's much, much closer to being done.

[lonequeso 1,921]

I know the feeling. So far my game has around 20 hours of gameplay. That's a really rough estimate. Since i'm play testing, I have to check EVERYTHING so the play time on the save is a lot higher than it would normally be. Let's see... I have one more city, two ruins, and (i think) 7 levels left to do. Overworld only has one or two more maps to do. After all that's done, I'll release the demo. I still have two more entire continents and a few islands after that. I want to finish play testing what I currently have before I develop anything else.

[Saeryen 299]

So...I've finished V1 of the second level of the reservoir dungeon!

All that's left to do is the final puzzle to rescue the character Meira from her magical prison, and the level is complete!

[lonequeso 1,921]

Ooo! I love puzzles! What type of puzzle is it?

[Saeryen 299]

New banner!

I also have a new blog for this game at http://saeryenkalador.tumblr.com/


The first post has been updated!

Edited October 17, 2016 by Darq
merge doublepost

[Saeryen 299]

I now have a Youtube channel!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaMeWF_n9es

First teaser trailer for the game!

[Saeryen 299]

I am pleased to report that I'm finally bringing the plot together! At the beginning, I only knew how it would begin and end, and now I've added several story, and now I just have to fill in a few gaps.