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TheCaliMack

Game Concept, Need Help Simplifying

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I wrote down ideas and they piled up more than they should have. So I am looking to try to simplify my plot because I think I may have gone all over the place.

A traveling healer is hired by the city-state's Duke to tend to his workforce. During one of the healer's casual strolls around the castle, he witnesses the fight between the Duke and his son escalate to the point of the Duke's murderong his own son. The healer is spotted almost looking in and is chased out by the guards. He runs and is rescued by a band of mercenaries who are hired by a local resistance group. The resistance takes him in and they construct a ploy to overthrow the Duke an his advisors, and they use the son's death an the healer as a rally cry to the fiefdom.

The healer is forced to work for the resistance, but as they work together, they realize something greater is afoot.

 

 

EDIT>> Additional Notes:

 

 

> Duke argues with his son about how the funds in the fiefdom were being managed.

> Party discovers hidden magic research facility on the outskirts of the city-state.

> The City-State's Authorities are torn in the middle when the Rebellion goes into full-swing assault.

> Half the city is razed by the Duke in an effort to obliterate the rebellion's attack.

> Duke's advisors were actually controlling him to meet their own interests with a little help of magic.

> Ending involves the mercenaries being chosen by the surviving citizens to rule over the fiefdom, with some of the noble houses as advisors.

 



So I'm still trying to build up on what could happen in arranging a rebellion. I can think of a few but would like your input whether this might be too much for just a first game, because that went dark real fast from my first idea of a light-hearted game.

 

EDIT:

Here's the basic party (3 members):

> Gun-Toting Healer (Gun skills and Divine Magic)

> Ailment-Susceptible Tank (Warrior who can guard allies and draw attention)

> Third party member dependent on conversations with NPCs. Choices are:

> Weak, debilitating mage (Saboteur)

> Spellblade mercenary; enchants allies. (Synergist)

> Thief; sets up combos (Combo Set-Up will strengthen follow-up attacks.

 

Side plots (discoverable):


The Healer's origin

Healer is actually a man from modern age who fell into the strange land when he was a child. It was all an accident. The Healer as a child was curious about his father's study so he and his friend went exploring. Through the trip to the other world, he gained magic abilities and potential. A noble house took him in from the streets and raised him as their own.

 

 

Romance for the Plot

Healer bonds with the mercenary group and is welcomed reluctantly by the merc captain. Both characters are dudes, because I feel there aren't enough games out there that make a man-to-man relationship feel decent. And I'm keeping this relationship fairly Rated T.

 

 

The Conflict of Mages [uNDER ASSESSMENT, opinions welcome]

Mentioned in character interactions and notes. Mages are quite feared and though the dukedom has no means of containing or controlling mages, the city guard does their aprt in maintaining what they can of the peace. Generally, healer mages are less feared but are more tolerated as a lesser of two evils. (warning: getting a bit close to Dragon Age here)

 

 

 

 

--More to be added--

Edited by mackintosh

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I think the part where everything has the strongest chance to fall apart is the time travel aspect. That is always a dangerous plot to use as it can muck up everything in your world, it also has the potential to turn your character into a mary sue and make them way to powerful. While it is a neat concept, I think if you left that part out and kept it a simple rebellion story (ala suikoden) you could still have a good game.

 

Now you if you want to keep the game a bit more light hearted but still need a motivation for the healer, you could always have him oversee the duke conspiring with the enemy to murder a section of his own troops along with the healer (all for the greater good of course). This leaves out the actual murder and just a dark attempt that is pretty common among the ruling class.

 

Just a few ideas.

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I think the part where everything has the strongest chance to fall apart is the time travel aspect. That is always a dangerous plot to use as it can muck up everything in your world, it also has the potential to turn your character into a mary sue and make them way to powerful. While it is a neat concept, I think if you left that part out and kept it a simple rebellion story (ala suikoden) you could still have a good game.

 

Now you if you want to keep the game a bit more light hearted but still need a motivation for the healer, you could always have him oversee the duke conspiring with the enemy to murder a section of his own troops along with the healer (all for the greater good of course). This leaves out the actual murder and just a dark attempt that is pretty common among the ruling class.

 

Just a few ideas.

 

I guess the time travel aspect can end up a bit nuts-o. But I kinda wanted to incorporate it so that the 'seemingly' fourth-wall references actually are legitimate for a reason, but that sounds a bit too ambitious now that I say it and type it out loud.

 

At any rate, at that second paragraph, did you mean the duke would have spies in the Resistance? Because that definitely would be a great way to make some inner struggle and should make the maintenance of a rebellion feel harder.

 

Also, what would any of your thoughts be on just three party members, given two out of three are a gun-toting healer and an ailment-susceptible tank warrior?

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3 party teams work great, as long as you balance them to fill all the needed roles, just look at Dragon Quest II. It worked wonders. I hadn't meant spies within the resistance, but honestly that idea is even better than mine. It gives you a start and leaves an opening for more twists later.

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3 party teams work great, as long as you balance them to fill all the needed roles, just look at Dragon Quest II. It worked wonders. I hadn't meant spies within the resistance, but honestly that idea is even better than mine. It gives you a start and leaves an opening for more twists later.

 

So would that be enough twists or would throwing in Mage Discrimination feel a bit much?

 

 

The Conflict of Mages

 

Mentioned in character interactions and notes. Mages are quite feared and though the dukedom has no means of containing or controlling mages, the city guard does their part in maintaining what they can of the peace. Generally, healer mages are less feared but are more tolerated as a lesser of two evils.

 

Edited by mackintosh

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EDIT:

Here's the basic party (3 members):

> Gun-Toting Healer (Gun skills and Divine Magic)

> Ailment-Susceptible Tank (Warrior who can guard allies and draw attention)

> Third party member dependent on conversations with NPCs. Choices are:

> Weak, debilitating mage (Saboteur)

> Spellblade mercenary; enchants allies. (Synergist)

> Thief; sets up combos (Combo Set-Up will strengthen follow-up attacks.

 

 

So basically you're just copying the final fantasy 13 crystarium and paradigm systems?

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