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The Night Before Election

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Hello gang! I realize I've been absent via the RM scene as I've gone between jobs and other things the last few months, but I haven't forgotten you guys. I wrote this poem awhile back. It's a parody of The Night Before Christmas, and deals with government politics and presidential elections.


It's a satire, but is not meant to offend or advocate for any one particular side over another. So please enjoy.



The Night Before Election

‘Twas the night before Election, and all thro’ the House,

The Demos were out clubbing, and the Repos all plowed;

The stations were set with little to no care,

For the votes that would soon be gathered there;

The voters were content with the promise of lies,

While hopes for the future continued to die,

And Big Chief himself, looking kind of glum,

Settled his brain for what was to come-

When out of the blue there arose such a clatter,

Why it’s the Ghost of Presidential Future

                The Evil Mad Hatter.


Away with our dreams, it went with a flash,

Tore open our hopes, and demanded our cash.

The goon was abreast, out and in full,

Requesting the blood of hard-workers and all;

It waved its hands so that what may appear,

Taxes and exemptions for the following year;

With a do-nothing Congress full of dimwits,

I knew in a moment it wasn’t St. Nick.

More rabid than feeble, his customers came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and call’d them all lame:

“More taxes! More fees! Our voters are now dumber.

“First Clinton, and then George,

and finally Obummer!

“In God we trust, all others pay cash!

“So pay you minions, with the new health tax!â€


As trash in the wind is certain to fly,

They shoved the ACA without batting an eye;

And up through the House, the bill was pushed,

And any who contested were all told to shush.

And then in a twinkling, I heard on the news

The Repos were all laughing while cooking their goose;

The Demos all failed, ‘tis sad but ‘tis true,

But the Repos are still bumbling while guzzling the booze.


The Hatter was dress’d in colors of gay,

While the Repos still shouted “True marriage shall stay!â€

Out of the sack, I saw a portion

Of a Repo bill that banned all abortion

The Hatter’s eyes gleamed, cold as a rock,

This was the one that would replace Old Barack.

His droll little mouth was drawn up in sneer,

As he shouted the grand tidings of a miserable

                New Year!


He whistled and grinned, and showed all his teeth,

And heralded in America’s defeat.

He clapped his hands and blew out some smoke

And laughed when he told us our system’s a joke;

A Hatter, a troll, or even a snake,

A Demo or Repo, it’s all just the same;

A promise of lies, a twist of their words,

We soon must decide the lesser of turds.


They promise recovery and plenty of work,

But the rich get richer and the poor are still poor;
Our freedom, our rights, the whole Constitution,

They thumb their noses and call it superstition.

More laws and more secrets, a change we can believe

As long as we’re willing our rights to relieve.

A Demo or Repo, such is our blight-

We welcomed the change without even a fight.

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