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Prism+ Virus �プリズ� + ウイルス】Feedbacks + Previews

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Here's my new project :


cKCbRK9.png


 


Prism+ Virus ã€ãƒ—リズム+ ウイルス】


(The "+" isn't pronounced and is just inserted for aestheticism.)


 


Prism+ Virus will be a survival , sci-fi visual novel .


 

Synopsis :

 


In this present time , anyone who is brought to life has to be implanted with a "Prism" in a region nearby

 the brain . This governmental device is meant to oversee criminality , prevent any cardiac or celebral

disease , to be a replacement for ID cards , and can even be used as an internal phone , web browser and social network 

access point .

The Prism's usages are known to be tremendous and supposedly benefits to everyone's welfare .

However , in the case of a group of 13 persons , the Prism becomes an ominous threat .

As they wake up with suppressed memories , they find themselves being kept captive in a weird , dreary-looking

 place that seems utterly unfamiliar  .

As bewilderment arises , they are told by an offbeat , cubic-looking host , 

named "Rippoume" , that among them is an infiltrating traitor who will cause world-wide havoc . 

Because of that , every 3 days , the most suspicious-looking person of the group will see their Prism being

mind-hacked by "Rippoume" thus causing an instant demise . As an alternative , they will be also allowed

to kill who they expect to be the traitor .

This bloody mayhem will then keep on until that the traitor is obliterated , even if

the entire group has to be sacrificed .

 

Why were they specifically chosen ? What is this place ? Is there truly a traitor ? And who are the individuals behind this

mischievous plan ?


 

1OlukCe.jpg

 

"Who is the traitor ?"

The 13 characters . Is there truly a traitor among them ? 

But then , who ?

 

 

Now what I would like to know is , does this sound like a promising story , knowing that the storyline has been

very shortened to give a sypnosis .

Does the title sounds appealing to you ? 

 

I shall , later on , create a full page with all the characters shown along side with their informations , some sprites , some screenshots

of the maps and several other informations as such .

 

(Here you can find one only map for exemple .)

post-57562-0-03568300-1491647677_thumb.png

Edited by Wisteria D.L

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The story seems a bit plain in my opinion. Why is their a traitor? Why is the cube guy randomly killing them too? Why not wait until you KNOW who the traitor is? All the characters just seem impulsive and stupid.

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Lord Vectra, on 08 Apr 2017 - 3:20 PM, said:

The story seems a bit plain in my opinion. Why is their a traitor? Why is the cube guy randomly killing them too? Why not wait until you KNOW who the traitor is? All the characters just seem impulsive and stupid.

 

And just like it is written : "knowing that the storyline has been very shortened to give a sypnosis ." (furthermore , I'm bad at making resumes.) 

 

Next , just like it is also said : " they are told by an offbeat , cubic-looking host , named Rippoume , that among them is an infiltrated traitor who will cause a world-wide havoc . For that , every 3 days , the most suspicious-looking person of the group will see their Prism being mind-hacked by Rippou-me thus causing an instant demise [...] .This bloody mayhem will then keep on until that the traitor is obliterated , and even though if the entier group has to be sacrificed ."

It's pretty obvious that it does so to get rid of a traitor that might cause them wrong . But as explained the traitor is infiltrated thus unrecognizable .

 

"And why not wait until you know who the traitor is" , you ask ?

It's pretty evident no ? Imagine yourself as someone who raises sheeps , but you are told that a wolf is after you to eat you and your sheeps , but the issue is that this wolf is perfectly disguised as a sheep , obviously , due to your survival instinct , you are going to sacrifice any suspicious looking sheep until finally discovering the wolf disguised as a sheep .

It is the same case in this game , Rippoume is threatened by the traitor who infiltrated this group and so , it will kill any suspicious looking person until finally killing the traitor .

 

I think your feedback is impulsive and stupid , it doesn't even look like you tried to think , understand or even figure out the mechanism or even the storyline .

I even wonder if you properly red it .

And I feel it is very uncalled-for to call my characters "impulsive and stupid" although that none of them were completely revealed .

Thank you anyway (I guess.)

Edited by Wisteria D.L

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The reason I said impulsive and stupid is because it seems like they are blindly killing people who seem suspicious and are quick to do so. Unless the cube-guy is the only one doing the killing. There is no need to get offended as you asked for feedback, and I gave some. I can understand what your story is about. If I didn't understand the story, the only thing I would've said is "Can you elaborate on the story?" But I do understand. I personally think it's a bad story, but I am willing to wait to see some progress in it because I do hold the belief that anything can be good if done right.

 

However you asked for feedback before showing it in-play, so I have to give feedback based on what I'm reading. If I have offended you by any means, then I am sorry, but I stand by my feedback. I don't think it'll be good. You can still prove me wrong. I have a project I'm working on and some believe it won't work, but I am prepared to prove them wrong. If you think I'm wrong, you too are welcomed to prove me wrong.

 

If "impulsive" and "stupid" are too strong of a word, I apologize. To me, the story seems bland, and you don't have to reveal your characters because if they are taking part of the killing, and if the traitor is a killer, you end up killing each other not knowing if the traitor is dead because if the traitor is alive, he's going to kill you, so to me, at the end, it just sounds like your characters are killing each other blindly because you can't have much trust among 13 characters if you don't know who to trust out of the 13, so if you kill anyone that doesn't seem trustworthy, now we have a bloody mayhem that ends up with everyone dead.

 

Maybe I'm missing something, but that is my feedback.

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@Lord Vectra -

One synopsis does not a whole story make. There's just no way to properly judge its entirety just from a single badly-formatted paragraph written in poor English (no offense to Wisteria). All you can really say from it is that it's apparently set in some kind of Ghost-in-the-Shell cyberpunk future where people have chips planted in their brains and a bunch of them get kidnapped by some evil hacker to play a psychological death-game.

 

If you don't like the cyberpunk setting or the death-game theme, you can say so, but it's not like the premise has never been done in anything else. You can go write hate mail about the Hunger Games to Suzanne Collins or tell Spike Chunsoft that their visual novels suck and not to localize any more of them, though I doubt they'll care much.

 

Speaking of which...

 

@Wisteria D.L. -

You have to understand - it doesn't matter whether you switch the setting from some gothic mansion to a hospital or whatever. As long as you're doing a death-game themed Visual Novel, people will keep comparing your game to Spike Chunsoft's death-game VNs like 999 or Danganronpa. Because it's not the first time a death-game VN or novel or show has ever been made. It's not necessarily a bad thing (or a good thing), it just happens. You can't stop it from happening.

 

The bigger question is... is this going to be in Japanese? Or English?

 

Because if you're going to do an English version, you will either need to improve your English or find someone with better English to write the text than whoever you used to write your post.

Edited by Traverse

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@Lord Vectra -

One synopsis does not a whole story make. There's just no way to properly judge its entirety just from a single badly-formatted paragraph written in poor English (no offense to Wisteria). All you can really say from it is that it's apparently set in some kind of Ghost-in-the-Shell cyberpunk future where people have chips planted in their brains and a bunch of them get kidnapped by some evil hacker to play a psychological death-game.

 

If you don't like the cyberpunk setting or the death-game theme, you can say so, but it's not like the premise has never been done in anything else. You can go write hate mail about the Hunger Games to Suzanne Collins or tell Spike Chunsoft that their visual novels suck and not to localize any more of them, though I doubt they'll care much.

 

Speaking of which...

 

@Wisteria D.L. -

You have to understand - it doesn't matter whether you switch the setting from some gothic mansion to a hospital or whatever. As long as you're doing a death-game themed Visual Novel, people will keep comparing your game to Spike Chunsoft's death-game VNs like 999 or Danganronpa. Because it's not the first time a death-game VN or novel or show has ever been made. It's not necessarily a bad thing (or a good thing), it just happens. You can't stop it from happening.

 

The bigger question is... is this going to be in Japanese? Or English?

 

Because if you're going to do an English version, you will either need to improve your English or find someone with better English to write the text than whoever you used to write your post.

 

Well , I used to be proud of my english but it seems like I am not that proficient after all .

Would you mind to tell me the mistakes I have done , so that I don't have to repeat them over again .

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I will try, but I'm not a linguist so not everything I explain may be spot on. I will try to stick to the facts and try to be as objective as possible and I apologize in advance if this post comes off as overly harsh, but I do know that learning a language is not an easy thing, so I'm not going to fault you for your mistakes.

 

I'll try and use some Japanese examples to make things easier to understand, but I will also say upfront that Japanese is not my native language (which is English) so you'll have to forgive me if I make errors there too.

 

(The "+" isn't pronounced and is just inserted for aestheticism.)

 

"Aestheticism" is the name of a specific 19th-century art movement. The word you were looking for is probably "aesthetics", which is a more general term for focusing on beauty.

 

In this present time , anyone who comes to life has to be implemented with a Prism in the near region of the brain .

 

The phrase "come to life" is most often used metaphorically in English to mean "begin to move" (think something like å‹•ã出ã™) not literally being born. There are other fancy ways of saying "born" like "brought to life", but that particular one you chose usually doesn't mean that.

 

Also, the verb "to implement" means to "to put into action" (similar to 実行ã™ã‚‹), which I don't think is what you meant. The verb you probably meant to use is "implant". While I am not a doctor, I have also never heard of a part of the brain being called the "near region". When I read it, I was not sure if you meant "a region nearby the brain" or some fictional part of the brain you're making up.

 

to be a replacement for ID cards , and can even be used as an internal phone , web browser and social network .

 

You normally don't use a comma before an "and". You also do not use a device "as a social network", since a network is more or less a place (or more technically, multiple devices linked together). You probably mean to say the device can be used as "a social network access point" or "social network terminal" or whatever synonym for door/gate/road/link you want to use.

 

The Prism's usages are known to be tremendous and supposedly benefit to everyone's welfare .

 

This sentence is not grammatically correct. If you're using "benefit" as a singular noun (to encompass the bundle of "usages") you need to use the article "a" ("supposedly a benefit"). If you're using it as a plural noun, then the plural is "benefits" ("usages are... supposedly benefits to everyone's welfare"). You can also use "benefit" as a verb, but then you don't use "to", since that verb takes a direct object ("The Prism's usages... benefit everyone's welfare") not an indirect object.

 

the Prism becomes an eldritch threat

 

I don't blame you for not knowing, but the word "eldritch" is an old word. It's like saying 怪異ãªæ•µ instead of 怪ã—ã„å±æ©Ÿ. There's a connotation of ancientness and magic to it that doesn't fit with a man-made brain implant.

 

As they wake up with crypted memories , they find themselves being kept captive in a weird , aseptic place
that seems utterly unfamiliar  .

 

"Crypted" and "Aseptic" are not commonly used words. Most native-speaking people will not have heard of the word "aseptic", much less know what it means. The more commonly used synonym for "aseptic" is "sterilized". The word "crypted" literally means "put inside a crypt" and I guess most people will be able to guess that you're using it as a metaphor to mean "locked". But we don't usually say "locked" when it comes to memories in English. In the case of memories, the word usually used is "suppressed".

 

As bewilderment is arising , they are told by an offbeat , cubic-looking host , 
named Rippoume , that among them is an infiltrated traitor who will cause a world-wide havoc .

 

While not grammatically incorrect, the progressive tense ("is arising") is generally not used in this kind of situation in English. The exact situations when you use present progressive tense and when you just the plain present tense are something you only become familiar with by reading more of the language, but in this situation it sounds strange. Mostly because the word "arising" itself is used more often before a noun like an adjective ("With arising bewilderment") than an actual verb after the noun. The plain present tense "arises" is used more often whenever the verb is used as a verb ("As bewilderment arises"). But that's just something specific to English.

 

You're also not meant to have commas before and after "named Rippoume". There's no grammatical need for them there.

 

Furthermore, "infiltrated traitor" does not mean what you think it means. In Japanese, it would be like saying 潜入ã•ã‚ŒãŸè£åˆ‡ã‚Šè€…. In English, when you use the past tense of a verb to describe a noun, the implication is that the noun is the object of the verb, not the subject. "Infiltrated traitor" means "the traitor/his body has been infiltrated by something". You either need to use the present progressive tense ("an infiltrating traitor") or else an entire statement ("a traitor who has infiltrated them") to make it clear that the noun is the subject of the past tense verb.

 

You do not use "a" before "world-wide havoc". Havoc cannot be counted - I don't even know if it has any plural form.

 

For that , every 3 days , the most suspicious-looking person of the group will see their Prism being

mind-hacked by Rippou-me thus causing an instant demise .

 

You wrote it as "Rippoume" in the last sentence with no hyphen. You need to keep the name consistent. Either always a hyphen or always without.

 

Also, the phrase "For that" usually means "For the purpose of that" (ãã®ãŸã‚ã«). Which I'm guessing is the opposite of what you mean, which was probably "Because of that" (ãã®çµæžœ). Otherwise it implies that Rippoume is killing people in order to see world-wide havoc, not to prevent it.

 

You don't use "an" for "demise" just like you don't use "a" for "havoc". Demise is not countable. There is no plural. If you see the word "demises" being used, it's the present tense of a verb which means something completely different, not the noun which means death.

 

This bloody mayhem will then keep on until that the traitor is obliterated , and even though if
the entier group has to be sacrificed .

 

You don't use both "that" and "the" for "traitor". One or the other. Either "the traitor" or "that traitor". Again, there's not supposed to be a comma before "and".

 

"Even though if" is not a complete expression in English. That's like saying ã•ãˆã‚‚ã‹ã‚‚ in Japanese. It doesn't exist. You can use "even though"or you can use "even if". Just bear in mind that the phrase "even though" doesn't carry any information about possibility. If you use "even though" then you will also have to introduce possibility by using a word like "may" or "could" ("...even though the entire group may have to be sacrificed" or "...even though the entire group could be sacrificed"). Otherwise it sounds certain that the whole group will be sacrificed.

 

"Even though the entire group has to be sacrificed." = 全員ãŒçŠ ç‰²ã«ãªã‚‹ã®ã•ãˆã‚‚ = é–“é•ã„ãªã„ã€èª°ã‚‚死んã§ã„ã‚‹

"Even though the entire group may have to be sacrificed." = 全員ãŒçŠ ç‰²ã«ãªã‚‹å¯èƒ½ã•ãˆã‚‚ = å¯èƒ½æ€§ãŒã‚ã‚‹ã€ï¼‘ï¼ï¼ï¼…ã˜ã‚ƒãªã„

"Even if the entire group has to be sacrificed." = 全員ãŒçŠ ç‰²ã«ãªã‚‹ã‹ã‚‚ = åŒä¸Š

"Even though if the entire group has to be sacrificed." = 全員ãŒçŠ ç‰²ã«ãªã‚‹ã•ãˆã‚‚ã‹ã‚‚ã—ã‚Œãªã„ = ???

 

â€Entire" is misspelt, but I assume you know the right spelling.

 

And who are the individuals being this mischievious plan ?

 

I assume these are both spelling mistakes and that you meant to type "behind" and know that "mischievous" is only spelt with two "i"s.

 

Spelling mistakes aren't as bad as illogical sentences or broken grammar, but they are also very unprofessional and will make your game very unpleasant to read. If your game is a visual novel that is 90% text, being unpleasant to read means that it is not a good game.

Edited by Traverse

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Damn, Traverse, you went all out with the proofreadin'  :P  I have to aptitude for learning languages. I'm lucky I can just handle English  :blink:

 

Anyway, back to the OP. Details were a bit scare, but it's really hard to come up with a bad concept. The important thing is how you execute. Can you write a decent story and make the game fun to play (and ideally some nice artwork and music)? This type of game(Is it a full fledged game or more like an interactive novel?) not my cup o' tea so I'm too familiar with how to properly develop a story in this genre. However, the basics always remain the same. If there's a lot of text, as Traverse said, you'll really want to polish up your writing skills or find a writer or make it Japanese. You could always find a translator or translate it yourself later. These stories seem to have a tendency to become really convoluted. Everyone has their own agenda and motives (Mostly not dying.) The cubic guy is likely hiding things from them, too. That makes for a lot of paranoia and people giving misinformation on purpose. If there really is a killer, obviously they need to shift the blame and convince the group or perhaps just the one with the finger on the trigger that someone else is guilty. On top of that, you have to make the whole "internet-in-your brain" thing relevant to the story or else it's pointless. Making a story complex without making it convoluted and overly confusing is a difficult tightrope. It'll put your story telling skills to the test for sure. You also have to make the gameplay itself entertaining, With such a complex story, it can be easy to neglect playability. I'm not sure what you have in mind gameplay-wise so I can't comment on that. Remember that gameplay will always be the most important aspect of any game. 

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While the story was something I could sit behind, and while this is a synopsis, I do recommend giving a bit of extra background, or even some dialogue, to settle the style of the game and to support your idea. As for my own opinion, I believe you have a good game point go off of.

 

An off-beat cubic being that could be the true traitor is what interests me in this game. Being a survivalist is something that few can master with little resources, in which you have to actually figure out everyone's weaknesses and choose between protecting them or undermining them. While it may not be the cube that's the traitor, I'm expecting him to be it only because of how the story's set up, but that's just me being, well, me in an opinion-oriented mood.

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I will try, but I'm not a linguist so not everything I explain may be spot on.

 

I am tremendously grateful ! 

I must say , I am a little proud to see that most of my mistakes are due to an "overthinking syndrome" and due to my lack of diligence , whereas in the end , I could've easily fixed most of it .

 

But I do believe I have hours of work to complete if I wish to master your language . I don't think what I write is that painful to the eyes buuuuut ... It is surely not pleasant either .

Thank you again Traverse , I will do my best and hopefully , I will find someone to re-check my game .

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Jack Daniels puts me in an opinionated mood :P  I'd want to see a bit more elaboration, too. I agree you have enough of a concept to jump off from. It'll be interesting to see how everything develops.

 

The game will be mostly text ,but you will be able to interact with the characters in order to know their backstory . Doing so will give the player extras if correctly done .

They will be also some gameplay sessions . Although they will be short , I sincerely hope their rareness will make them more fun .

 

And I am really trying to give the story as much plot twists as possible to "mind rape" (not to say "mind f***") the player .

By the same way , I tried to use voice acting to make the game more immersive , but also spent a lot of time trying to find proper BGM in order to make the player feel what the characters will feel themselves .

 

And just likst I said to Traverse , I will make my best to use a proper english and I might also consider trying to find someone to check after me .

 

Thank you as always Lonequeso !

 

While the story was something I could sit behind, and while this is a synopsis, I do recommend giving a bit of extra background, or even some dialogue, to settle the style of the game and to support your idea. As for my own opinion, I believe you have a good game point go off of.

 

An off-beat cubic being that could be the true traitor is what interests me in this game. Being a survivalist is something that few can master with little resources, in which you have to actually figure out everyone's weaknesses and choose between protecting them or undermining them. While it may not be the cube that's the traitor, I'm expecting him to be it only because of how the story's set up, but that's just me being, well, me in an opinion-oriented mood.

 

I will surely make a page that will provide a lot more informations concerning my game . Such as backgrounds , the characters (along side with their personal infos) , CG's , facesets and etc ... 

 

Beside , I am very grateful to hear that you seem to enjoy my idea ! :D It makes me very motivated !

 

Title?: Meh, doesn't stick with me. But hey, I'm just one guy. ;)

 

Pitch?: Sounds very interesting. I'm a sucker for sci-fi and people dying. You sure this was not made for me? :P

 

The title doesn't sound good to you ? Well ... I guess not everyone will like it after all , haha ...

 

And believe it or not , but I made it right for you because you haunt my dreams !  (herp)

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I will try, but I'm not a linguist so not everything I explain may be spot on. I will try to stick to the facts and try to be as objective as possible and I apologize in advance if this post comes off as overly harsh, but I do know that learning a language is not an easy thing, so I'm not going to fault you for your mistakes.

 

 

Everything has been corrected . Thanks again Traverse , I feel ashamed for all the illogical mistakes I have made , but ultimately , I had the opportunity to improve my skills .

Edited by Wisteria D.L

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The commas are still there around that bit ", named Rippoume," and you still have that "an" before "instant demise".

 

By the way, I should probably correct something that I said before. The phrase "For that" can mean "For that purpose" (ãã®ãŸã‚ã«) but CAN also mean "For that reason" (ãã®ç†ç”±ã§), which is what you meant. However, which one it becomes depends on the context. In your case, it became "For that purpose" because your "that" was referring to a purpose (the purpose of the traitor to cause havoc). At least, that was how I interpreted it. It's possible other people could interpret it differently, but it's still ambiguous.

 

Personally, I say that if you think there's any room for doubt, you should either use a different phrase or type the extra word to specify whether it's a "purpose" or "reason". That's just my opinion though.

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you still have that "an" before "instant demise".

Meh. That one you can get away with. I always feel something's missing without the article. I don't know what the actual literary rule is, but I also don't really care :P 

I agree that if there's a chance a word or phrase can be misconstrued, it's a good idea to change it so the meaning is clear. Unless you want it to have multiple meanings or intentionally leave something up to the reader's interpretation. This kind of story seems like that sort of thing would happen a lot especially with dialogue. That's a whole 'nother ball of wax though. 

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The actual rule is that you use "a"/"an" if you're referring to a single count of something. Some things (mostly abstract concepts like destruction, panic and demise) are not countable at all, so you will never use an article with them. One way of checking whether it's countable is to see whether there's a plural form, but even that has exceptions. Like the word "education". Technically it has no plural, but you can still say "an education" in some circumstances to refer to someone's schooling/academic qualifications.

 

Which means there's really no way to know for certain except by reading more/becoming more familiar with the language.

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Seems silly to me! Really, the whole idea of a government forcefully implanting internet enabled mind chips in people is ridiculous. The idea that they would be designed to allow a hacker to kill people remotely with them is ridiculous. The idea that a bunch of people would be rounded up and killed to stop one person who may or may not be among them is ridiculous. Seriously, why go though all this convoluted sci-fi nonsense to justify a situation where a bunch of people are trapped in a weird place and one is a traitor?
 
Sigh... Then again, given how mind numbingly stupid humans seem to be about how they govern themselves and about this whole 'Internet of Things' bullshit, maybe it's not actually that far fetched. Though if it happened there would likely be hundreds, thousands, maybe millions of hackers running around killing people or at least stealing their information, everyone would do their best to jailbreak the fuck out of their prisms first chance they got, and the prisms would mostly be used for games and inane social networking apps. Wait... My God... This isn't sci-fi at all! You stupid humans basically do this already! Putting your smartphone in your brain is just the next step in your evolution to form the most back-assword society possible! Ugh, I... Why is it that you humans can come up with so much great technology yet are so universally dumb at using it correctly?

Also:
 

English, especially American English seems to have jut made stuff up as they go along. It must be a pain to learn. We have all these rules, but then there's all these exceptions, and sometimes even debate on which way is proper. :blink:


This is what happens when a bunch of upstart Frenchmen decide to conquer a bit chunk of one of the world's largest islands and force their Latin-based language on a people who mostly speak something more Germanic. You get a bastard katamari of a language which figures that, hey, since it's already become a Frankenstein's monster of Latin-based and Anglo-based words, why not go for broke and grab anything they find useful form any language they come across? I love you English, but seriously, you gotta stop gorging on the all-you-can-eat language buffet and lose some weight. We are worried about you!

 

Maybe I really such switch to Anglish and cut out all the non-Germanic words I can?

 

...

 

Awww, who am I kidding. I love your overly verbose chaotic mess of a vocabulary! Never change English, never change.

Edited by KilloZapit

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It's a nice world we live in when the idea of a dictatorial regime trying their best to monitor everyone seems a ridiculous notion. And when people are so caring and perfectionist that the idea of mass-targeting a group rather than wasting resources pinpointing the hidden insurgent is absolutely inconceivable.

 

It might have a sci-fi coating over it, but personally I find it - as a premise, and only a premise, not a whole story - to be at least believable. I'm sorry Killo, but unlike your home Fairyland, we humans live in a world that doesn't always tend to be quite that nice. We're lazy and power-hungry.

 

Now whether the setting needs to be so in order to justify sticking a bunch of men in a room and making them kill each other is a different story. I'm personally of the opinion that you could use any number of backstories to move that vehicle - or even none at all, since just locking multiple people (especially if they hate each other) in a place with limited food and water will probably make things end up the same way anyway.

 

In this kind of story, the backstory and setting is really just the seasoning on the main course, which is of course the death-game and psychological thriller stuff and character interaction. But I'm sure you knew that.

Edited by Traverse

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Personally, I don't find the concept all that far-fetched. Do you really think someone like Bashar Al-Assad or Kim Jong-Un wouldn't love to have that level of control on their people? Oh, you wanna revolt, do ya? *click* *Dead* The concept of a totalitarian government is very real. They just don't have the means as the government in the story is. Like Traverse said, the sci-fi aspects are just one of many ways to frame a death-game. It's really not any more complex than a good ol' murder mystery in a mansion. All the same elements are in place. The only difference is the sci-fi aspects need a little more exposition or explanation because it's not set in our world. Clever writing can explain it with nothing more than a few lines sprinkled here and there. 

 

Personally, I wouldn't even give any exposition if I were writing it. It would start with the prisoners coming to in their current predicament, and the reader/player/whatever would learn about the brain chips and the backstory as the prisoners learn of their situation and desperately try to figure out how to survive. 

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Yeah. I am sure the best thing to do as an evil dictator is to waste time and resources developing devices that can kill people remotely and making sure they are implanted into absolutely everyone. Because you know, finding educated people you can trust to make the things, design software, and putt them in people is not going to be hard at all. I mean it's not like any one person working on this might have an agenda and disrupt your plan, it's not like any of your enemies can't figure out what you are doing and using it to kill all your forces. It's not like giving a bunch of dumb hired muscles some guns and letting them wave them around won't bring your subjects in line just as well.
 
No it only makes sense if people were using this thing willingly, and though I would ask why the hell anyone would be dumb enough to think it would be a good idea to insert any device into your body with wireless through witch a hacker could possibly kill you, humans apparently are in fact that dumb. For fu-- Just... WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT??!??! Ugh... Look just... I reaaallly want to believe I am right, that humans can, in fact, learn, and the whole story idea is just dumb cyberpunk nonsense. Because the alternative is that you might as well all blow yourselves up now, it will be quicker. I know you can all do better, but sometimes I just want to spank each and every one of you dumbass humans till you learn to stop being such frigging idiots.

 

And yes. You. You reading this. If you are human or even just interact with them it IS your problem. Your part of this. You contribute to this. Every day you are not raging as hard as I am over shit like this is a day it gets a little worse.

Edited by KilloZapit

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I never said it'd be easy to accomplish. Just that some governments would if they could. If something like these brain chip thingies was developed and marketed properly, yes, people would willing get them. Whether it for health purposes or they just want to play video games/use apps in their own head. It likely wouldn't take off right away, but could grow into being the norm over time especially as the technology improved and they fixed the bug where the chop randomly explodes in your head and kills you  :P

 

The right dictator could totally force them on their people, too. Remember, not all countries have as any freedoms as the US. Some hardly have any at all. I guy like Kim Jung-un could pull it off. This is someone who would have no problem abducting scientists and techs and anyone else he needs to develop them, and executing anyone in his regime that's not on board. He's done the latter quite a bit. So, as far-fetched as it may sound, it is well within human nature for brain implants to happen either willfully or by force. To me, advancing to the point technologically to make the damn things is the most far-fetched concept, but that's why the genre is called "science fiction".

 

 

 

 humans apparently are in fact that dumb. For fu-- Just... WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT??!??!

I did that to a guy in "Watchdogs!" :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  

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