nallnaom 3 Posted June 14, 2018 Ashes all around, Each particle of cinder was a testimony of a moment now long past, Each dying flame is a remainder of his memories from a distant past, In a bonfire, scorched is everything that once was owned, As with everything touched by the sands of time, No more shadows in the present, only in the past, Yellow pages burning fast. Rust in memories from corrupted days, All withers with the flowing of age, Yet everything is as intended, Thus he spoke: “All I am will go with me, for all I have done and said” ”Was what I am!” Work forged with heart and soul Actions carried with mind and wit. Not a moment yielded, Not a second wasted. Now all burns with him, All he was is gone His ashes scattered all around. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Knighterius 502 Posted March 15, 2019 This is a really nice piece. The overall flow of the stanzas felt very jarring and disjointed from one another, and at other times they flowed nicely. I don't know if that was intentional but it kind of reminded me of how a fire burns; going fast and then easing off in all directions. I liked the progression, it felt as though at first he was the one burning all his things, getting rid of the past but in the passage where he says "All I am will go with me" and then "His ashes scattered all around" shows that he was getting rid of his entirety. It's kind of beautiful because this piece can kind of embody when we change who we are and it really is like we are burning away into ash and forming again like a phoenix or something. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites