Screenshot Critique Thread: Read Rules Before Posting!

[Tow 6]

@Jonnie: There was no new screen, so I couldn't say anything new.

@pxlgraphic: No, I can see it. I don't know.

[pxlgraphic 16]

@Tow: I can see it now. It's a nice map, I like the little storage room in the corner.

[Kayzee 4,032]

@pxlgraphic: I kind of think a lot of the stuff in the temple gardens map seems to be in contrasting styles and scales. Over all it's nice looking though!

 

Anyway, I wanted to post some screenshots of my attempts at modifying Saba Kan's Random Dungeon Generator to make some more interesting levels (also using Khas Awesome Light Effects for the room lights):

 

 

 

 

 

 

I might look into adding some more complex structures and stuff, and maybe some more well-defined rules for what can appear where on some maps. Using cellular automata cavern stuff may work if I ditch rooms.

[pxlgraphic 16]

I really like the mapping and the dungeons have a unique feel to them. I like how only the room you're in is lit up, and the map is nice. Although in the 3rd and 4th maps, you have grass tiles on water instead of the ground where they're meant to be. And what do you mean by scales and styles?

[Shablo5 8]

The same cave, but some battles later Vendolin discovers a place where someone has camped:

\

Vendolin: That could have been a dog. But I am not quite sure about that.

I've never been one for putting irons without a forge, just doesn't make sense to me. What will a weapons trader do in a frozen environment with no fire with some iron bars? Speaking of which, why don't you put a campfire in there or something? Make it a bit more cosey, if the man just sits there forever, he probably wishes he had some sort of heat source, no?

 

 

 

@Kilo

I can really only say two things, i hate the minimap, and I feel using the shadow pen on maps that have limited vision is silly. The entire map is shadow, where does the light come from that casts a shadow completely different than everything else?

Oh nevermind, one more thing. In screenshot #3, did you take your map into photoshop and paint it with a lime green brush? Looks so weird and unnatural, the color. 

 

@Snake 

Using a bland sunlight overlay adds nothing to your map. It's honestly just lazy in my opinion. Putting down specific shadows or specific sources of light on the other hand, isn't.

Edited December 31, 2012 by Shablo5

[00000gone 4]

@snake Beutiful, captures nature perfectly, although I would add more wild life, maybe some birds.

 

I threw this together awful fast and It's my first time mapping, so I hope it's good...ish

 

BTW don't f*** with Elle Venoria (girl shown), she'll tear your head off. 

[Kayzee 4,032]

I really like the mapping and the dungeons have a unique feel to them. I like how only the room you're in is lit up, and the map is nice. Although in the 3rd and 4th maps, you have grass tiles on water instead of the ground where they're meant to be. And what do you mean by scales and styles?

Yeah it's meant to be a marshland-like thing, so it's sort of like clumps of grass growing right from the water. I am probably going to end up doing something slightly different with it later. I like the way it makes it look uneven and clumpy though.

 

Anyway by scales and styles I mean normal tiles like statues and rocks look a bit miss-matched next to the trees, but that might be just me.

@Kilo

I can really only say two things, i hate the minimap, and I feel using the shadow pen on maps that have limited vision is silly. The entire map is shadow, where does the light come from that casts a shadow completely different than everything else?

Oh nevermind, one more thing. In screenshot #3, did you take your map into photoshop and paint it with a lime green brush? Looks so weird and unnatural, the color. 

The minimap should be toggle-able at some point. Honestly it's not the first time I heard about Saba Kan's minimap, but I find it useful to have as at least an option. I could get rid of the shadows pretty easily, though I think their point is more to add definition and contrast then anything. I am rather torn about it to be honest. Anyone else think I should ditch shadows brushes? Lastly, I am using the RTP graphics for now, but I may replace them sometimes. Though I almost feel slightly unnatural works for marshlands

 

Anyway thankies for the feedback!

[Bunni89 85]

@ Killozappit: Personally I do like the minimap, and I was gonna comment with SQUEE, A MINIMAP! but instead I shall comment SQUEE, I DO NOT THINK IT'S BAD BECAUSE IT'S PRACTICAL! xD It doesn't look excellent yes, but that's the best script you can use with a randomly generated dungeon. Personally I like to do an evented minimap with a custom image but obviously there it relies on you to draw the map so in this case it would be useless.

The rooms look surprisingly consistant and realistic for random generation, so well done!

[Kayzee 4,032]

Taking the time to make scripts for updating autotiles and sprinkling some details here and there goes a long way :3

Edited December 31, 2012 by KilloZapit

[Shablo5 8]

@snake Beutiful, captures nature perfectly, although I would add more wild life, maybe some birds.

 

I threw this together awful fast and It's my first time mapping, so I hope it's good...ish

 

BTW don't f*** with Elle Venoria (girl shown), she'll tear your head off. 

I always find it hard to take a character seriously, when they say something mean / rude / less than happy happy go go, yet their portrait has a big smile. If you're not Kefka, it's hard to take it serious.

 

AS for the actual mapping, just remember symmetry isn't always your friend. You've got an entire wall of drawers, two symmetrical tables, and nothing else. Could really use some spice, don'tcha think?

Edited December 31, 2012 by Shablo5

[00000gone 4]

@snake Beutiful, captures nature perfectly, although I would add more wild life, maybe some birds.

 

I threw this together awful fast and It's my first time mapping, so I hope it's good...ish

 

BTW don't f*** with Elle Venoria (girl shown), she'll tear your head off. 

I always find it hard to take a character seriously, when they say something mean / rude / less than happy happy go go, yet their portrait has a big smile. If you're not Kefka, it's hard to take it serious.

 

AS for the actual mapping, just remember symmetry isn't always your friend. You've got an entire wall of drawers, two symmetrical tables, and nothing else. Could really use some spice, don'tcha think?

Alright I can do the face set, but what to you advise I do to spice it up?

[pxlgraphic 16]

@JDubsH: I like your generated characters, and the mapping is good. The only thing is that the odd shape of the rug in the top right corner makes it look bad. I would recommend shift-mapping those stairs in.

[Shablo5 8]

@JDubs. I'll pm you a map I just made, for a tavern, maybe it'll give you some insight on some irregularity.

[RetroExcellent 369]

I don't really have a map to draw or anything to comment on as it has all been covered, but I just wanted to say that I love how well this is going. We have people unafraid to post their maps, harsh critique, but with a way to improve. Excellent work community! I'm so proud of you all!

[pxlgraphic 16]

Haha cool. I'm not sure how this is different from the last screenshot thread, but it's good that it's working well.

 

Anyway, new title screen for Wake.

 

 

Also, there weren't any screenshots posted since my last post, so there's no feedback to give, Jonnie.

[Bunni89 85]

I love the save/load menu It looks really unique just with the rearrangement and higher focus on graphics.. was this a script you made yourself?

[RetroExcellent 369]

@pxl - I love the title screen, it's very amazing looking, the animation is top notch and not over the top., I also think the music is fitting. I was wondering how you got your title screen to be animated? Did you use your own script or find one somewhere?

 

If I could make any suggestions it would be on the icons. The bomb just seems out of place compared to the rest, perhaps a burning book or a closed scroll or even a blank sheet of paper would work better and fit in. Also, the ability to save on the loading screen seems out of place to me.

[+ Maindric 15]

Hey guys, new here, and I decided to try my hand at mapping.  I skimmed over a bunch of mapping tuts. (Skim as in, looked at images, and fast forwarded a bunch of youtube videos), none of them kept my attention for long, however, I did pay special attention to certain points.  Anyways, I decided to make two test maps.  One using nothing but the RTP, and the other mainly using the Modern Day Store pack on the RPG Maker main page.  They are both relatively small, but I would still like critiques, see what I may have missed, or see how I could make things more realistic/interesting.

 

Image 1:

 

 

This is an outdoor scene, obviously.  I purposefully left the bricks at the bottom, I kind of imagine that you are in a place that is not real, kind of like an illusion, could be in a witch's castle or something, who knows.  I left the water shallow because of the bricks at the bottom.  Assuming we are looking at an illusion, with the stone bricks this close, that leave little room for water.

 

Scene 2:

 

 

This is a more modern scene, in a fast food joint.  If I were to add more to this scene, I would add a cook or two into the kitchen, and maybe some people eating at the tables with food.

 

I would like some critique on these scenes, and see what I can do to improve my mapping ability.


@pxl

I love your title system!  I too am curious, did you script that, or did you use a script already made for that?

[+ Abscond 149]

Haha cool. I'm not sure how this is different from the last screenshot thread, but it's good that it's working well.

 

Anyway, new title screen for Wake.

 

 

Also, there weren't any screenshots posted since my last post, so there's no feedback to give, Jonnie.

It does my heart good to seem someone using my titles.

[RetroExcellent 369]

@Maindric - Those are some nice maps for a newbie. You have talent, I do notice a few things that you could really improve on. First off, the lake map. The waterfall is off, something seems strange and almost glitchy about it. The wall at the bottom is no issue as it easily could just be the outer wall of a city or something along those lines. I do think you have too much random clutter. Nature is random, but it still makes sense.

 

I would recommend watching those tutorials again and paying full attention to them. Someone else mapping will not show you what to do, but you can pick up on things that they do and why so that you know how to map yourself.

 

As far as your fast food joint goes, I think you have the porportions wrong. The kitchen and greeting area should be smaller while there should be more tables and room in that area. It is pretty much against any convenience a customer would expect from a fast food joint, and a player will expect to see something similar. The layout is nice though, you do have a good touch.

[+ Maindric 15]

I will work on the clutter a tad more.

 

Honestly, I was thinking of the fast food joint kind of like an RPG inn.  In some inns, you see only three beds total, and there are three players, or only two rooms, or such, while the rest is relatively large, as that is where the player will spend more of their time I guess. I dunno, I could change that I suppose.

 

I edited it twice now.  I changed the previous post to show the first edit with more seating space, and this one as well.

 

This one looks more organized in my opinion..  I removed the food, I found it useless without people there eating the food.

Edited January 1, 2013 by Maindric

[Tow 6]

@maindraic: The indoor-map looks very good. But on the bottom of the map, I would delete the blue chairs and tables. They look kinda wrong.

[+ Maindric 15]

@Tow Yeah, I might as well do that.  I was thinking of how fast food joints usually have stand alone tables, and booths, but I could not find any tables with anything that matches..  So that was my solution.  I could just recolor them...

[Kayzee 4,032]

@Maindric: Shouldn't the door to the kitchen be behind the counter?

[pxlgraphic 16]

@Bunni: It's a Yanfly script, one of my favorites. :3

 

@Shaddow: How's this?

 

 

And you can't save on the loading screen, it's faded out and nothing happens but a buzzer sound effect when you choose it. The reason it appears is because this is the same screen as the saving screen, where it isn't grayed out. It's part of the script.

 

@rgangsta: It does my heart game to see your awesome titles :3

 

btw how do you get that emoticon? xD

Edited January 1, 2013 by pxlgraphic