Screenshot Critique Thread: Read Rules Before Posting!

[+ Myst88 87]

@Raymi100: I would add more plants to the map, also the tree in the upper right side needs to be brought forward if it's gonna overlap the house. And for the houses maybe stick to just one style? (Make all the houses wooden) but keep the church and blacksmith made with stone. At the moment all the different style houses looks a bit messy.

 

@Saneum: Looks good. As for the stairs in the first screenshot, the top part is meant to be used for upstairs going downstairs. And I would make the stairs go up to the ceiling, it doesn't look right stopping halfway up the wall.

 

The second screen looks nice. (Loving that rainbow) But the light in the bottom left, are they sunrays? if so It looks slightly weird that it covers that bottom bit, but nowhere else of the map. (I think I can see some sunrays elsewhere on the map, in that case I would lower the opacity on the lower one so it doesn't stand out so much)

 

My forest made with Celianna's updated tilesets.

[RaZzi 20]

@Mirage88: Nice forest but you should change the Z value of your "fog". Now the top of your trees are shadowed by other trees which is not the case unless you have a floating forest atop of that forest.

[+ Myst88 87]

@Razzi: I did what you suggested and it now looks loads better. (Didn't even know I could do that, you learn something new everyday)

[+ Sinathor 72]

@Raymi100

 

The roofs of the buildings are really thin compared to the size of the buildings themselves. Also, I'd advice to make more variety to how the buildings are placed, as well as how the path goes. It's really symmetrical. Unless it's a really large city, buildings aren't usually built in such structural manner. And even large cities don't always make sense.

 

@Saneum

 

I love the rainbow! I also love how you hide the wall closest to the camera. I've never thought about it that way! But it looks really good!

 

@Mirage88

 

Luv it. Srsly. Forest maps are some of my favorites and it looks really good! Just the right amount of detail!

 

 

Here's my first attempt at parallax mapping. I am planning on making all my maps for the sequel to my game with parallax mapping. It's a bit rough and not everything makes sense, and I haven't tested it in-game yet, but the point is just testing stuff out. Tell me guys what you think!

 

[RaZzi 20]

@Sinathor: You are missing some shadows. The green plants have shadows but the table that is bigger than the plant doesn't. Miguel on homo on vissiin jotain inside läppää? The room is also a bit empty. You could make it smaller or add like a couch section to the middle of it or something.

 

I like the amount of little details. With a proper tint screen its a very nice map.

[+ Myst88 87]

@Sinathor: Forests are some of my faves too ^^ I just find them easier to make for some reason. As for yours, looking good, though I would make the office smaller and the bedroom part bigger.

[Ympker 14]

Oh my, it seems I havent been around for ages! I hope to find more time for this again since I really love the work of the people from the previous pages! Thumbs up! And I have a dream, that one day, I will find time to map again haha

Kind regards,

Ympker

[Nicke 151]

@Sinathor: Nice looking map but I feel like you could make it a bit less spaced then you have now, or maybe fill it out with a bit more details?

 

Anyways, been far too long since I posted something so here goes.. Trying to map out a nice looking fire dungeon as well as making my HUD look as simple as possible. Suggestions is appreciated!

[Izu. 239]

Well if you'll take Parallax mapping as critique, then I do suppose that this could help.

 

Since this is a cave scene with lava in it, the lighting can get a little hectic, and kinda hard to work with. But, if you can do it right and set the atmosphere with a couple of different effects, fog, shadows (all facing away from the light source, the lava) and just a few general textures on things, then it'll come out looking rather nice.

 

Here's an quick edit I did to show you what I mean (excuse my terrible Parallax mapping skills).

 

  

 

On the general layout of the map, there's nothing really to critique. Looks quite nice and there's a lot of things you can do to make the lighting work well (even though it's not represented very well in my edit). ^^;

Edited February 11, 2015 by Izu.

[Cait 385]

I decided that I needed practice editing and even mapping, with graphics from Samurai and even the futuristic pack. 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 17, 2015 by Cait

[+ LadyMinerva 998]

@Cait  Love the colourful feeling of the room~ The only thing I see is that the Jade plant is literally on the edge of the table. You can fix it by either parallaxing the jade plant or shift-click the table so that the bottom part of the table connects to the wall~ I would also suggest to shift-click the red carpet on the top-right corner of the room. What you would like to do is to get the walls to look like it is obstructing floor tiles to bring the perspective as well as the realism. :3

 

So far so good with that screenie, great work~!

[+ Brackev 66]

@Cait I see you did some editing from the original post.  I like the changes.  It looks good.

A couple of things are off in the scene.  The foldup wall is in the entranceway of a room and looks out-of-place in the cleanness of the rest of the room.  The floor planks change direction for the room on the upper left so it feels jarring for me.

[Izu. 239]

@Cait The second one (The one not in the spoiler) you did looks better, I think. 

The little details fill a good bit of space. ^^

--------

Decided to make a map from scratch, completely in Photoshop. I used the Steampunk tilesets made by Celianna and Lunarea.

It's around 200-300 layers in total.

Let me know what I should change. ^^

[Cait 385]

@Izu I really like your map, but wish I could offer you advice... I am not good at that form of mapping.

[Izu. 239]

Thank you! That's okay, any suggestions are greatly appreciated. ^^

[RaZzi 20]

@Izu. : Why are the pipes on the right side casting shadows to the left side when all your other shadows are to the right side? Other than that, it's a good map.

[Izu. 239]

I originally had it going the other way, but it looked a little strange that way. So I just placed it there, I'll probably change it though. =D

 

Thank you for the feedback. ^^

[Tsarmina 2,612]

Wow! Your maps are beautiful, Izu.

I think the shadows cast by the walls (er...idk what else to call them. The brick walls, not the walls of the buildings.) are a little bit heavy--especially with the one in the middle, the entire wall and staircase looks a little bit like it's floating due to the shadow you put on there. Maybe I would lessen the shadow cast by the stairs? Since the stairs are sloped and will not cast such a straight rectangular shadow like that of the wall.

..I'm not entirely sure what I just said ^^"

[RaZzi 20]

@Izu. : Forgot to say that the lighting of that map is very good, nice job.

 

CRITIQUE REQUESTED:

My Peculiar Brother - Battle Scene

 

 

 

 

 

Notes: The shadows of the plants are too dark. The actors have different resources that work differently, hence the different coloured gauges for actors. At the top is a moving gauge showing battle order. Moving water effects not seen in the screenshot but give out nice underwater effect. Enemies are placeholders.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

What else? What do you dislike/like?

 

Follow & Like:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MyPeculiarBrother

Deviantart: http://razzirazzi.deviantart.com/

[atolmasoff 1]

 

Screens from multiple zones in my new game: http://imgur.com/a/Yx9GW

Album of creation process: http://andrewtolmasoff.imgur.com/

 New to BB Code, can't seem to figure spoilers out :\

Edited February 22, 2015 by atolmasoff

[Izu. 239]

@Tsarmina Thanks! =D

Ah I do see what you mean, I'll be sure to go back and fix them. 

 

@RaZzi Thank you! =)

[+ Retired 274]

@RaZzi are you keeping any RTP?

 

Cos the skeletor / malguar and edit of the rtp forest look out of place.

 

Also looks like its a modified mog hunter script - curious to see how targeting and skill / item windows - using windowskins?

[RaZzi 20]

@AlliedG: Yes, thou all of it are edited somehow to make the art fit better. Yes, there are some scripts from moghunter but they are heavily modified to fit my other systems. The skill / item windows have window skins also.

[Chareu 6]

@Nicke:  I really like the look and feel of your fire dungeon.  Personally, it looks like there are too many boulders clumped to the side.

 

-----

Could anyone share any hints on how to make cliffs look more like actual cliffs, and not just disjointed land masses that should be connected to the ground?

 

 

[RaZzi 20]

Could anyone share any hints on how to make cliffs look more like actual cliffs, and not just disjointed land masses that should be connected to the ground?

 

Look at other screenshots about cliffs. Quick google gave me this: http://www.besusproductions.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/AlmaPass3.png

Here is a tutorial: http://forums.rpgmakerweb.com/index.php?/topic/6293-mapping-helpdesk-last-update-mountains-17th-april-and-misc-answers-18th/page-4#entry121146